Monday, December 31, 2007
I have lost 179.6 pounds.
For the month of December, I have lost 10 inches.
From September 1-December 31, I have lost a total of 67 inches. That is over five and a half feet off my body! (How I wish I had kept track of this all along!)
Not bad at all! :)
- Reach ONEDERland. (199)
- Lose half my body weight. (Reach 196.8)
- Have an overweight BMI. (191 pounds)
- Begin running. (180 pounds)
- Doctor's Goal Weight for Me/Skydiving (175 pounds)
- Reach First Personal Goal Weight (165 pounds)
I know it is going to take me a while to reach goal, but having these several mini goals will give me plenty to celebrate along the way. This year is going to be the year I achieve so much as far as being physically healthy and active. I can't wait.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
I am very inspired by John "The Penguin" Bingham, who began running at 43, being overweight. I ordered three of his books tonight off of Amazon. I figure getting myself mentally prepared to run will be one of the biggest obstacles I will face as I lose the weight that I want to lose in order to start running. Here are the books I ordered:
- The Courage to Start: A Guide to Running for Your Life
- No Need for Speed: A Beginner's Guide to the Joy of Running
- Running for Mortals: A Commonsense Plan for Changing Your Life with Running
I held off on getting his book "Marathoning for Mortals." I'd love to complete one, but that is certainly a way off!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I don't just want to plan pie in the sky physically challenging activities...I want to accomplish them. I want to overcome my shyness and socialize more. I'm not far into the book, but something that I really liked was how Dr. Carson analyzes risk. He asks these four questions:
* What is the best thing that can happen if I do this?
* What is the worst thing that can happen if I do this?
* What is the best thing that can happen if I don't do this?
* What is the worst thing that can happen if I don't do it?
The other good news is I should have two new career options should I ever grow tired of my current one. Whenever I walk, all I ever watch is the Food Network and HGTV. So, perhaps I'll be a chef in my next life or a home repair specialist.
I am due for a big weight drop soon. Looking forward to that GREATLY. I am also eager to record my measurements and see how many inches I dropped for this month, and to see how many inches I've dropped since September 1 (when I began recording them).
Friday, December 28, 2007
I looked up small/large bowel obstruction. I had a few of the symptoms, but did not think it was that. Finally, the pain subsided. What a relief. It truly did freak me out. I guess I just had really bad gas or something. I felt better last night, and feel fine now.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
My best friend Mandi got engaged. She is engaged to a complete loser. I've talked with her about him several times, but she still persists. I told her she is an adult, and I will support her choices. She is planning an August wedding. We were talking about bridesmaid dresses, and Mandi brought up something that shocked me. She said, I bet you will be in a 14 by then. WOW...me, a 14!!!! Also thinking...that is eight months from now, I could very well be SMALLER than that by next August (and hopefully so)!
I still cannot get over how the DS has changed my perception of food. I hope to one day be able to adequately put the changes into words that really describe how different my life is now.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
These numbers give me hope that I will see three major goals by my one year anniversary. Those goals are: 1) To have an "overweight" BMI, 2) To be in ONEderland, 3) to have lost 50% of my body weight from my pre-op weight.
The Current Stats:
- I have shaved 27.9 points off my BMI.
- I have lost 73.3% of my excess body weight.
- I have lost 45.3% of my weight from the time of surgery.
- I am 65 pounds from pre-plastics GOAL.
- I am 24 pounds from an "overweight" BMI.
- I am 16 pounds from ONEderland.
Life is good. I feel great!!!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
1. Discussion of Goal Weight
2. Going over my current vitamin schedule
3. ACNE medication
4. Flagyl - it's time folks, really, long overdue
5. Setting up my next set of bloodwork
6. Want her to run a urine test to make sure I don't have a kidney infection. This is per the request of my grandmother. My lower back has been hurting for about a week, and there is no real explanation for it.
I also want to get her some sort of small gift as a token of appreciation for all of her follow up care since my DS. She really has went above and beyond. She has really studied up on it, and made phone calls when she was uncertain of things. Anytime I have been worried or concerned about something related to my DS, she always makes sure that she gives me an appointment for that day. I'm going to make an effort to look for something at Hallmark the day after Christmas.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I am debating joining the YMCA. I so wish that I had a workout partner. It would be nice to have someone to do exercising with. I have two pieces of gym equipment at home, but really like the idea of having access to weights, the swimming pool, aerobics classes, etc. I like the community aspect of the Y too. If I am serious about wanting to be in a 5K, 10K, etc...there would be others there training for the same goal. I was very interested in a cycling class that they offered. The other advantage is how close the Y is to my house. It is about 1/2 a mile from my condo. I could not ask for anything more as far as distance. I am going to make up my mind in the next few days. The promotions that they offer at the first of the year are just too good to pass up.
I'm not sure what it is worth, but I recently redid my body fat analysis on my elliptical machine. I did it awhile back and I had "greater than 48.8%" body fat. (That was as high as the machine would go. I did it a few days ago, and it said my body fat was 38.8%. I love the decrease! I bet the Y has more sophisticated machines that could analyize my body fat. I might consider doing that.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Another example of this body dysmorphia I seem to be developing....Yesterday, I was talking with my secretary saying how I wish that I could be thin like her for Christmas. She gave me the strangest look and said, "I'm a size 22." I thought to myself, "Holy Smokes, I never really saw myself as being smaller than her...yet I am."
So at what point does your head catch up with your physical body? I mean I am almost at the point where I realize that no matter what chair I sit down in, I'm not going to break it. That one aspect alone has taken me almost nine months! The mental aspect of this surgery really does take some getting accustomed to, especially if you have been SMO as long as I have been.
The one thing I am most thankful for by having the DS is that for the first time in my life, I feel like I am in control. Not only am I in control, but when I make the right choices, I typically see good results. It is such an empowering feeling after years and years of failure with dieting. The DS is a powerful tool!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
We are going to have our first meeting next week. FUN TIMES!
Knowing this will really affect how I eat over the next few days. I have a lunch and a dinner to attend on Saturday, and Christmas with my family on Christmas day. Yes, I know that I can have a small bit of "anything", and its OK. Yet, I know that keeping with high protein/low carb food will give me the best weight loss results. Looking at how close I am to these TWO major milestones, the food is really not worth it. I can always have a piece of pumpkin pie or a bit from a casserole dish. These food items just seem very petty now because I want to reach these two milestones desperately. I want to finish the next three months (which will be my one year post-op anniversary) out with gazelle intensity!!!
Now, I need to keep my head clear. It is so easy to crunch numbers and make predictions of when I will reach what goal. Each step in the right direction is a positive one.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
This song is very motivational to me. I feel like the DS has given me more than just "one moment in time"...but as many moments as I am willing to grasp. No, I will never be an Olympic athlete, but I will certainly have my priceless moments, some have already happened, but so many more are yet to come.
I do two quirky things when I exercise on the elliptical. One...I do most of the workout with my eyes closed. I have no clue why...wait, oh yes I do. When I first started using the elliptical machine in college, there were mirrors right across from me. I hated watching myself workout. GAG. Two...I do my elliptical machine workout in my flip flops. Since it is such low impact, the type of shoes that I am wearing really does seem to matter.
Well, off to work. Only two more days left in this week, then I am off until January 3rd! Woo hoo!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
I am setting my goal weight at 150 pre-plastics. If I go below that, it will be a bonus. I know that will be a great healthy weight for me.
I can do this. I will do this.
Monday, December 17, 2007
According to the Center for Disease Control (2002):
"The average female weight is 164.3 pounds. The average adult BMI is 28."
This is from an unofficial source....The average female clothing size is a size 14.
Slowly but surely, I am creeping towards becoming average. I have always excelled in everything I've put my mind to....so I intend to become way above average by the time everything is said and done.
One day at a time. I will get there, I just need to focus on slow and steady....it one the race for the turtle, and it will help me to do the same.
Also, I am down two more pounds. Today I weighed in at 216 pounds! :) I have lost 45.1% of my body since the day I had WLS. I have lost 67.4% of my excess weight. I am 25 pounds from an "overweight" BMI. I am 16 pounds from ONEderland!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Pictures will be coming soon!
Tonight was my immediate family Christmas. We had to have it early, because of my brother and sister's crazy work schedules. We had a really good time. I did really good on the eating front. I had some country ham, and that was all. I tried on several of the things I got tonight and they fit well. When I was with my mom, I bought them super tight in hopes that they would fit. It it a great feeling! :)
I have a work party tomorrow and one on Friday for lunch. Hopefully, I can get through those without having to worry about any food stuff. I like my boring food and staying away from temptations as often as possible.
I am off from Christmas Eve through January 2nd. I am looking forward to the break.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Here is what I am wearing:
The sweater is a size 18/20, and the pants are size 18.
Friday, December 14, 2007
1. Reach ONEderland.
2. Reach my Weight Loss GOAL. (The exact number remains to be determined.)
3. Go Skydiving.
4. Go for a ride in a hot air balloon.
5. Go white water rafting.
6. Participate in a 5K and a 10K walk.
7. Start running.
8. Be able to take a bubble bath with room to spare in the bathtub.
9. Stay diligent with protein, vitamins, water, bloodwork, and doctor's visits.
10. Be able to wear a single digit clothing size. (Thus being able to buy clothing in any store I want.)
11. Get some nice professional pictures made once I reach goal.
12. Work on socializing more.
13. Continue to work on becoming debt free.
14. Be able to comfortably wear panty hose.
I'm sure there will be more....but for now this is all I can think of.
I feel better physically than I have in years. I guess I was so fat (and had been for so long) I really had no idea just how tired and run down I was feeling. It is nice not feeling so physically dead tired. Movement seems effortless. Nothing I do in my day to day routine exhausts me. On a random note, several people have complimented me lately on how healthy my skin looks.
I think I am going to go to my PCP and get on a prescription for Flagyl. Many DSers are on this as a routine prescription, and I think it would be helpful to me. Heck, at this point, I already take so many pills...what is a few more!
Another WOW: Yesterday at the consignment store, I bought a pair of Liz Claiborne size 1X velour black pants. On the tag, it had written 1X (16)! WOOT! WOOT!
I don't mind slow progress, but I really do need progress. Hopefully, I will show progress when I measure my inches this month. Some days I also just think that I truly need perspective. For example, I have gone from a size 28 (in August) to now a comfortable size 18 in December. I have gone down a size a month in my pants. That is a great accomplishment. Yet, I can't wait to be in a 16, and will be THRILLED to be in a size 14! I don't know if I will ever reach goal (or even what that goal is), but I want to be able to shop in normal stores.
I am still not certain if I had an addiction to food as a pre-op, but I certainly did have a fascination with it. I would think all day about what I was going to eat. (Now, I don't really think about what I want to eat, instead I do a mental tally of carbs and protein grams all day.) Food does not really have that kind of hold on me anymore. One interesting thing is cravings. I will get a "craving" for something, so I will go out and order it. Last night it was a piece of Long John Silvers Fish. I got it, and I ate about half of it, and didn't even want it anymore. Food does not give me the mental satisfaction that it once did. It is just food. It is fuel for my body. Gee, maybe I'm starting to use it how it was intended all along.
I am sure I am going through the same emotions that countless other WLS patients have gone through. It is nice to have this blog to get them out. I hope it helps others in their journey as well.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
I hate going to holiday gatherings alone. I don't want to settle for just anyone, but a little hope on the dating front would be nice.
The scale still stinks. :(
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Of course, I have a lot of fears shooting back into my head that I will fail my DS or that I have broken it. Those thoughts had actually been out of my mind for quite some time.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I was wearing a size 20 pair of pants today, and they were dragging the ground. They were way too big. I have to get some smaller pants.
The first came as I was leaving the school where I used to work. A parent of a former student of mine yelled at me from the carpool line, and said that I was looking really good. When her son had me as a teacher, I wasn't even at my heaviest.
The second came from a secretary in our department. She asked if I was about ready to start "maintaining" my weight. This is no where near true, but the thought was very nice.
Enjoy the day.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, December 9, 2007
I also got the IPOD Shuffle that clips on your clothes. I have a regular IPOD, but like the portability of the Shuffle. I live near a really awesome park, and look forward to working towards running by summer.
I am SO CLOSE to making my skydiving reservation for late May. I really want it to be something officially tangible that I am working towards. Calling and making a reservation would really make this REAL. Just like when I got my surgery date. It became real, not just something out there that "might" happen. Hopefully, I will get the courage up in a few days. It will be my Christmas gift to myself.
Ok, back to the clothing thing again. I guess part of my frustration is where I carry my extra weight. It seems like that area is the slowest to lose. As I mentioned in a previous blog entry, from about mid-waist up, I look completely normal. I don't really look obese (that is if I can hide my ugly arms!). I have a ton of excess weight in my thighs and hips. I still think I am a ways away from being able to wear a size 16, even though many people at my weight can wear that size. I know that really targeting exercises might help some, but I just need to accept the fact that the fat there is very clingy, and is only going to depart very slowly with a whole lot of kicking and screaming.
For those of you with kids out there, they have a children/teen BMI calculator. Here is the link:
Saturday, December 8, 2007
I am going to go to the upscale consignment store on Tuesday, and see if I can luck up and find anything there. I have had quite a bit of luck there in the past. If I can't find anything, I am just going to give up, and wear something that I have in my closet.
The good news....in trying on many tops/sweaters, I am swearing a 14/16 in tops. If the top is really long I need an 18 because of the hips. I even tried on a pair of 16s just for kicks. I've still got a ways before I can wear them.
At least my hair will look good for the holiday festivities. I am going to get it cut and colored on Monday. I am tempted to get it permed, but you can't color and perm at the same time. I am also a bit leery of perms since my last perm experience (5th grade) was NOT a positive one. We'll see what I come out with. I have grey hair now, not a lot, but enough that I have to start coloring it. Fun times.
I haven't lost steam...I'm still following the rules, just tired of it all.
Ok, two-year old tantrum is over. Back to your regularly scheduling programming.
Friday, December 7, 2007
I think I would like to get my feet measured by a nice shoe store. I know that I have went down in shoe size, I'm just not sure by how much. On one pair of dress shoes the difference is quite substantial.
Nothing else of note going on. I need to work on getting a social life.
- Order a Large Thin crust meat lovers pizza, 2 liter of coke, and family size order of cheese sticks....and polish that off in the course of two meals.
- Stop at the drive thru two times a day. Always "super sizing" my meals and drinks.
- Buy two batches of those "just bake" cookies, and eating all of them in the course of a week.
- Pick up two candy bars any time I was at a checkout (buying gas, a coffee, etc.)
- Always getting a dessert when I went out to eat.
- Ordering salmon, mashed potatoes, a dessert, and the cheesy-bacon fries from Outback once a week curbside.
- That I no longer eat the portion size that an NFL lineman needs to eat in order to maintain his weight.
- Happy I don't feel like I always need something in my mouth.
- Downing coke like there was no tomorrow. Easily drinking 4-6 cans a day.
After reading over this list, which is by no means exhaustive, it sure makes me feel good that now my only indulgence is five sugar free dove chocolates a day. I am not justifying my replacement behavior, but compared to what I did as a pre-op, it is certainly a MAJOR improvement.
I am getting bored with the food choices I currently have. This seems to be a long term pattern for me. I will eat something until I am completely sick of it. I need to get creative. Many people have been doing extremely well living on an Atkins-like diet for years. I just have to put my mind to it.
The cool thing is that I don't really miss a lot of things that I used to eat pre-op. For example: bread. Yes, it is ok, but not something I am "dying" for. The few times I've had bread, I honestly felt bloated. Other things that I surprisingly don't miss are: pizza, most fast food items (I was a big fast food junkie), and many sweets. I count not missing those things as major blessings! I would love to be able to incorporate fruit back into my diet, but know that is not possible at this time. A few months back fruit would actually make me more sick to my stomach than having something really rich (such as a small sliver of chocolate cake).
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I have tossed many things back and forth in my head about how I will celebrate hitting ONEDERLAND, but I have decided I am going to go
I have already emailed the local place to find out about height and weight restrictions. I am hoping that 199 will let me in. I've heard they will go up to 235 (usually for males). This past eight months really has been an amazing ride, and I want to do something BIG when I hit ONEDERLAND. I am ordering the video of my skydiving adventure when I do it, and will post it to the blog!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I have also been checking out different workout videos. I have Netflix, so I thought about renting several until I found one that was workable to me. That way I would not be stuck with something that I would never use.
Regardless, working out has to become a way of life for me. I need it. It makes my body feel good. I feel like I am accomplishing something worthwhile.
Monday, December 3, 2007
On an unrelated note...I have the most excess weight in my thighs. They are much smaller than before, but still they are big. If pants are going to be tight on me anywhere, it will always be the thigh area hands down. I wish that I could really "target" that area, but I know that my body will lose there as it wants. Thunder thighs be gone!!!
I should be most thankful that my stomach area is shrinking. That is the area that is always worrisome to doctors because of all the diseases (diabetes, etc.) that it could lead to.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Eight Months Later...