Wednesday, December 31, 2008
We went to church, then out to dinner, and to see a park with a bunch of lights. It was really great. Today Ben's mom gave me a mini-makeover, and I really enjoyed how she did my eyes. She said that my eyes and cheekbones are my most prominent and best features.
I'm ready for 2009!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Easy Potato Bake:
The food turned out really good. I was certainly pleased. One big thing I need to work on is timing. It has been easy with the timing because Ben's mom is so good at making that happen. I know this will be an issue on my own.
I talked with Ben tonight about something that he has been doing that makes me feel self-conscious. He keeps rubbing my middle area and grabbing that area. It is always done in a loving-flirting-romantic way. I told him that it made me self-conscious because it was an area of my body that I could not fix without having surgery. He reassured me that he loves my body, and likes every bit of me. Wow...I am so blessed!
2 (16 oz) cans of pineapple tidbits/chunks (drained)
1 cup of sugar
1 cup grated cheddar cheese (medium)
3/4 cup of flour
1 stack Ritz crackers
1 stick of butter
Mix first four ingredients. Pour into a greased casserole dish. Cruble Ritz crackers. Mix with melted butter on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
I'm really going to have to reign in after I get back from North Carolina! Yikes! I am having a whole lot of carbs. Right now I am making these recipes with regular pasta. When I start making recipes back in Kentucky, I'll only be using the Dreamfields pasta. I am eating regular whole wheat bread here, while in Kentucky I eat low carb bread. It is little things like that that I think (know) are really adding up.
Monday, December 29, 2008
I am trying to decide what I am going to cook for tomorrow night. My goal is to cook each night, until we go back to Kentucky. Once back in Kentucky, my goal is to make a new dish each week.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I am going to need some accountability for this process. I am going to post pictures and recipes of the dishes that I make. I cannot promise that they will all be low-calorie. I am going for dishes that will first and foremost be DS friendly. Yet, I will be venturing out as well, since I am more in the weight loss maintaining mode. I know I need to learn how to do this, and I am looking forward to the opportunity to try.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
I found a new love this evening: cranberry salad. It was mixed with several things. I was so excited to try this. One thing that I've been proud of myself on this trip is that I've not been focusing on eating desserts, I have had much more complex carbs. I'm ok with that right now. (Of course that is easy to say since I don't have easy access to a scale.)
Friday, December 26, 2008
I decided that finishing the rest of Season 3 of 24 was more important than packing, so I must do that ASAP now. I will be posting more once I am in North Carolina. Sorry for so many short posts lately.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Today was full of good times with relatives. It was so weird hearing people call me skinny today. I loved it!
I hope everyone enjoyed the time with their family.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Nothing of note going on right now. Ben and I had my family Christmas gathering last night. I had a really good time at that. Today we went to Christmas Eve candlelight service, and then to a buffet at a local restaurant. The food was so good!
Ben and I exchanged Christmas gifts. We had bought gifts for students in my class, so our gifts were very small but meaningful. Ben makes things out of coat hangers, and he made me a really pretty basket. He filled it with stuff from Bath and Body Works, along with my favorite Sugar Free Dove Dark Chocolates (with Mint), and Buckeyes from Cracker Barrel. He seemed to really like my gift as well.
Merry Christmas to all! :) My electric blanket is calling my name.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Here has been the scene for the past seven years at my parent's home at Christmas...my sister and her husband (now her ex, so she brings the guy she lives with), my brother with his girlfriend who later became his wife, and me sitting with my parents. Everybody is enjoying the time together, but they all have their significant other, except me. Talk about feeling like a third wheel, every year I felt this way.
Finally, this year, I get to bring my significant other! Ben gets to come to my family's Christmas. I am so excited to have him there by my side. It has been a long time coming, and I'm going to enjoy my turn!
A trip back in time: December 21st, 2007 I weighed 215 pounds! It feels good going to Christmas this year with 75 pounds less on my body!
Talks are starting to get serious between Ben and I as far as considering marriage. This has me thinking about my weight. I am happy with my weight where it is, but if Ben does ask me to get married, I would like to lose at least ten more pounds. I am only getting married one time, and I want to look beyond sensational for my wedding photos! Here is the thing, I know that Ben loves me exactly how I look, so it is not any pressure from him. It is just me, acting like any other (potential) bride to be, wanting to lose a few pounds before her wedding day. One thing is for certain, my dress will have SLEEVES on it!
There is also the issue of when I will tell Ben's family about my DS. Ben says that choice is completely up to me. He doesn't care if I tell them or not. I think at some point I will want to tell them and clear the air. They already know I have lost a lot of weight. When Ben and I first started dating, he had commented to his mom about the loose skin by my arms. Ben's mom told Ben's sister-in-law, and she said, "That means that she has lost a lot of weight." It is not an issue right now, because I know I am not telling them over Christmas break.
Monday, December 22, 2008
I was thinking about why I had never had an MRI/CT Scan done before. I've suffered with migraines for a long time. I had very good doctors who were truly seeking a way for me to find some relief. I have decided that the doctors were too "kind" to tell me that I was too big for an MRI. I was looking at that machine, and there would have been no way I could have gotten in it as a pre-op. The weight limit on the machine was 300 pounds. Weight limit aside, just judging by the width, I could not have fit in it.
I won't forget when I was having trouble with my left ankle (I broke it in 1998) back in 2005. I went to a specialist, who wanted to take some special pictures of it. The lady looked at my weight and said I couldn't lay on the table, because I could possibly break it. I was so mortified. I had to sit in a chair and contort by body so that the proper x-rays could be taken.
Now I'm going to catch a short nap before afternoon festivities begin.
I was the fattest girl in middle and high school. I can only imagine that quite a few times a phrase something along this line was uttered, "Well, at least you aren't as big as Tiffany." Healing how I view myself is really taking some work. I joined Facebook a few months back. I like it much better than MySpace, and it is great to what is going on in the lives of former high school and college classmates.
In high school and college I used to look at some of these thin girls and put them up on a pedestal. I've been looking at quite a few of the pictures of people lately. I've noticed several things. 1. Many of them aren't really that small. They simply looked so small because of how huge I was. 2. I can tell that many of them have struggled with their weight as well. (People post pictures of themselves over the years, not just currently.) 3. I have compared myself to them, and I realize that I'm not that much different looking than they are. (I have pulled up a picture of me and put it side by side on the computer of some of the friends I have on Facebook.)
I still have a problem with the images I see on my camera. At almost 21 months post op, I can still look at a picture and go, "Wow...is that me?" People around me are starting to get acclimated to how I look. I like that. I like that the first subject brought up is not, "How much weight have you lost now?"
Speaking of Facebook, I got a private message from a girl I knew in high school asking how I had lost the weight, and that she was happy for me. She was a very sweet girl, so I will be responding to it soon. :)
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I am getting ready to go get my hair cut and highlighted. I was going to try to "rough" it out until I was able to go the the fancy place, but that won't be until February 6th. I can't rough it that long, I will go crazy.
I love Banana Scream protein shakes. I found sugar-free strawberry syrup last night. I am looking forward to adding strawberry to the mix this morning.
I sometimes think that people are waiting for former SSMO people to return to their previous weight. I guess that statistically most people do. I just feel that some people see me through a different lens. I love that there are some people at my job who don't know that I used to be fat. I don't worry about my actions as much around these people than I do others.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Sleeping last night with the electric blanket was heaven. This will be a staple at my house for the rest of winter. I keep my heat cranked anyway, since I have low utility bills.
Pasta Queen was talking on her blog about being addicted to food. There are some days that I feel the same way. For example, yesterday we had breakfast provided at our school. I was not hungry, but I wondered into the lounge "just to see" what they had. Even though I wasn't hungry, I ended up having one piece of toast and jelly. I knew better than to even go into the lounge, yet I did.
Ok, seriously have to kick it into high gear and get to work. Happy days to you all!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I am letting my electric blanket warm up as I blog. I am excited to get under the covers very soon!
Eating is not going so hot. The scale is UP. Not a big up, but any UPs worry me. I know I am making some crappy choices, and I am not pleased with myself for doing that.
Tomorrow night is my students big ballroom dance performance. They are very excited about the performance, and I know it will be a big hit. I am so proud to be a part of this.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Remember how I ate at the place on Friday night that was heaven, but I couldn't recall the name? It is Calistoga. Even better...they do have one in Louisville! :) Last night, after we went to a party, Ben and I went there. I remembered that there was a new restaurant in an area we frequent, but I couldn't remember the name of it. I was so excited when I saw what it was!
I am so thrilled because there is NO GED classes this week. I get to come home at a decent hour. Woot!!!
Ok, time to get ready for work.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
I tried on two really nice dresses at the Talbots Outlet Store. I have learned that I need to try on dresses with Spanx from now on. I really thought I might have liked these, had I seen how Spanx could smooth out some of my wrinkles. Since I couldn't see that, I decided not to buy the dresses. While I love Spanx, I don't ever want to make them a daily part of my wardrobe. I don't see the problem with wearing them on occasion to make a fitting dress look better.
A Note on Rudeness...
We are standing in a checkout line, and this lady asks my friend Penny if
she could wear the 1X PJs, since her daughter was about Penny's size.
Penny was trying to be very polite, but she kept pushing the conversation.
She asked what size Penny wore in clothing too. Here is the thing...I've
done this before, mainly when I was shopping for skinny friends, and I had no
clue what size they might wear. Yet, I was discrete about the whole
matter. This lady was NOT discrete. I am proud of how my friend handled this whole situation, but it was not an easy one.
We ate at a place that is similar to Panera Bread, but much more gourmet! It was so good. They do not have any locations in Louisville. :( I cannot think of the name of it for the life of me!
Ben and I went to Murder Mystery Dinner Theater tonight. We had a great time. He also surprised me with ordered tickets for us to see Bill Cosby in January! I LOVE Bill Cosby!!! Woooo Hoooo!!! :)
Friday, December 12, 2008
After school I am meeting my friend Wendy to do our Christmas present exchange, and have an early dinner. (Fried zucchini!!!!) Then I am off to Lexington to spend the night with my best girlfriends. We got a hotel with a pool, so I am pumped about that! :) I am so happy that I can spend time with them.
Ok, back to bed. I've got another hour and a half that I'm going to sleep before I officially start this day.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Last night Ben said to me, "Wow....I've got a supermodel sitting in my lap." He says sweet things like this all the time to me. It really makes me feel so loved.
One thing I've been meaning to blog about, but keep forgetting to do so.....another small way that people view you when you are no overweight. When I order dessert, I don't get strange looks, or even comments (you know how bold and brazen some people are). Last night I ordered a slice of cheesecake, and didn't worry about what others thought about me. Would I still do it with I was SSMO? Yes, but it often depended if I felt I was in the company of those who wouldn't judge me. Now, I just seem normal when I get something like that.
The next seven days at work are going to be a challenge. The kids are revved up to say the least. I've been keeping my kids in line, but I must say that it is a whole lot more WORK than it typically is.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Overnight with my best friends in a hotel in Lexington
Murder Mystery Dinner Theater
The 1st Birthday of Our Friend's Kid
My Student's Ballroom Dance Recital
My Z Spa and Salon Hair/Makeup Consult
Seeing the family I watch from Canada
Seeing Our Friends Wedding
3 Holiday Nursing Home Special Services (with Ben)
Hopefully a Dental Cleaning (I'm on the call list)
One Work Party
My Family's Christmas
Church on Christmas Eve and Dinner at a local restaurant
Christmas Day visit my grandmother and entertain the Soldier we are adopting for the day
Day after Christmas leave for North Carolina until January 4th!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
this blogger who has fallen head over heels in L-O-V-E!!!
Sorry guys, you may see more of a tilt for a bit to my love life in this blog. I am so in love with Ben! :) Life is so grand!
Today was church, then lunch at Cracker Barrel. I got hardly any sleep last night, so I am going to sleep now, and will hopefully sleep a good bit. I surely need it.
It took awhile to get to support group lunch because I was in traffic for fifty minutes. I made it, only 30 minutes late though. I will post pictures of that soon.
Another Mastercard moment...being given clothes from my aunt that were too small for her, and 80% of them are too big for me. PRICELESS!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
I'm getting ready to leave to go have a late lunch with my DS support group. It will be great seeing everyone before Christmas break. I've learned a lot from these fantastic people. The rest of the evening will be pretty busy as well. I'll post more later.
Last night was so much fun! Ben and I got our Christmas tree. It was my first real Christmas tree. We had such a great time decorating it. I made sugar cookies, and we ate those as we played Scrabble. (I am seriously becoming a Scrabble addict.) I will post pictures of us tonight in front of the tree. Our friend Aaron is going to take them. We ate at Just Fresh last night. It was such a great place to get food. It is similar in regard to Panera, but has several different menu options. I was very pleased with this choice!
Turns out I didn't have to deal with that angry parent yesterday. My principal did all the work for me. I was pretty happy about that. That shows me that he really knows that the kid is in the wrong, etc. It is nice when administrators step up to bat for their teachers, and allow us to continue teaching.
I'm going to do a little bit of laundry and dishes, and watch some episodes of 24!
Friday, December 5, 2008
I ordered mozzarella sticks for my meal. Ben says, "You are eating mozzarella sticks, and I am eating a side salad, yet we both are eating something that is good for us. It reminds me of...Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean." I started laughing so much, because it was so true. I was eating something that was healthy FOR ME, because of the DS.
My mom went to a informational session about getting the lapband. I am not anti-lap band. We all have struggled with being obese, and however you choose to lose the weight, it is not an easy road. I am a big supproter of exploring all your options before you make a poor decision. I know my mom, and for many reasons, I strongly feel that the lap band is not the right choice of surgery for her. I would much more recommend the Gastric By-pass or the DS. It is hard because I want the best for her.
I have a busy day at school. I've got a parent who is mad at me. This kid is one tough kid. She is refusing to accept responsibility for her son's behavior. This has made his son's behavior worse, because he has no consequences. I'm a strict teacher, not to be confused with being a mean teacher. I am super loving to my students. I do have many routines and procedures to give the students the best possible learning environment. It is hard to misbehave in my class because I set up so many safety nets to prevent that from happening. I really want this child to succeed, but it it going to take his mom working WITH me to do this.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Yesterday, my school had a video crew in for a promotional video we were creating about our building. I was interviewed for this video, and then the video crew filmed my class while I was teaching. I was honored to be asked to be a part of this. My principal is really awesome at what he does, and I want to make sure that I measure up myself. Being asked to be a part of this project made me feel really good.
On a total nerdy front. The past two nights I have gone to bed MEGA early. I've been getting about 9-10 hours of sleep. I cannot tell you how much BETTER I feel. I don't think I will always need this much sleep, but I have been running on a major sleep deficit. Catching up on sleep really feels awesome.
I am ready for the weekend! Almost there!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Off to work....This subject will be coming up more frequently in my blog, because it is heavy on my mind.
Monday, December 1, 2008
I have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow. I am getting more labs drawn, and I would also like to talk with her about having an iron infusion. I really think that will help with my energy level.
I know that I am going to BED in ten minutes. I played around last night, and ended up going to bed about an hour and forty five minutes later than what I had intended. I accomplished nothing whatsoever.
I just want my day to end at 4. I think knowing that my day doesn't end until 8 (always two nights a week, sometimes three) really messes with my outlook. While I've only been doing this job for about eight months, I think the funk comes from the fact that I've almost always worked a second job in addition to teaching. Teaching is a demanding (yet rewarding) profession, and I think it is hard to keep working a second job, because I don't get to recharge my batteries. Another contributing factor to this funk is that I didn't have a break this summer other than Colombia. I had a slew of presentations to do, then I was full charge into getting my classroom back in order for the new school year. I had no down time whatsoever.
I need to spend some serious time looking at my budget. I could scale back to one job, but it is going to mean tightning up things A LOT. Many of the things that I now take for granted, would have to be scrapped completely. In the end, I have to decide what matters more to me. I want the option to be able to do some other things that are not job related (become more active in my church, volunteer at the nursing home with my boyfriend, etc).
While I write all this now, odds are I would not be able to quit my second job until the end of July. I would still have some months to truck through, but it would feel good to know that an end is in sight.
Ok, off to work. It sure felt good to get this off my chest.