Sunday, September 30, 2007
Now, onto the subject of other people's pantries. I have babysat for this family for right at three years. They are all normal "healthy" weights. My eyes really have been opened since having surgery to not only how I view food, but how I see that food impacts the lives of others. I am at their house at least once a week, but up to 7-8 times a month. I feel that I have gotten to know them pretty well. Here are a few things I noticed about them...
1. They have food that stays in their pantry for a long time. I'm talking "bad" type foods. Cookies...that will take them a month to consume (if they don't end up throwing them out because they are bad).
2. They eat fruit as a snack often.
3. Although the dad is a Chief Advertising Executive for a major fast food company, they maybe have it two times a month....if that.
4. They always have leftovers in their fridge. They seem very discerning about when they are full, and don't go back and get more just because it is there.
5. Physical activity is a part of their lives, but not a huge part. They exercise maybe two-three times a week.
It is just interesting to see the little things that can be done to help you achieve/maintain your goals. There are many things about myself that have changed since I had the DS.
1. I rarely have fast food. (Maybe 1-2 times a month. Usually that is chili from Wendy's or grilled chicken with no bun.)
2. Although I didn't exercise for the first 4 1/2 months, I am now a consistant exerciser.
3. When I buy food it lasts a whole lot longer. Granted my stomach size is much reduced, I could still eat a whole lot of something over the course of the day. I just don't do that.
4. Coke...I have not had a Coke since surgery. This is a huge deal to me. I was majorly addicted to Cokes. (I once calculated that based on the Cokes that I consumed each day, I had the potential to gain 54 pounds a year. How scary is that? What is even worse, after calculating that, it didn't make me stop drinking them.)
Surgery was not a major fix. Yes, it is a major help. I have to do my part. I really am trying.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
I was eating soup last night outside at Panera. I overheard another table's conversation. There were three women in their thirties, who were all normal to slim weight wise. One of them was talking about her daughter, and how she shouldn't let her "weight" stop her. That she could do anything she wanted. (In this instance the lady had been talking about a sports team.) I have no idea what her daughter weighed, but what she is saying is not true. Weight stops you from doing so many things. Some things it stops you from are physical, you just cannot do them. Others, it is much more of a mental battle. Her perspective was certainly coming from someone who had never been overweight a day in their life.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
In other news...I am getting a Pink Motorola Razor Phone. Ok, so I know the rest of the planet has had a razor forever. My contract came up, and it was time for me to get a new phone. That is the one I picked. I should have it in two days.
I am going to see Hamlet tomorrow night with my mom. Fun times. We are going out to eat. All I can say is SEAFOOD!!! SHRIMP SCAMPI with lots of garlic butter! I love my DS!
Another significant thing for me is that I am about to break the barrier of having less than 100 pounds to lose. I am just barely over 100 pounds until goal. That is so wild to me. Having lost over half my weight gives me more confidence that I can reach my goal. THIS IS SOMETHING OBTAINABLE TO ME. I can do this. (Although, after reading Sharon's blog about WLS failures, I do realize that there is due diligence in maintaining your weight loss.)
I had a really crappy comment about my weight loss the other day. I was at the school I used to work at for a meeting. After the meeting, I see one of the assistants I used to work with. She says that I am looking really good. I tell her thank you. She asked me how much I lost. I told her 131 pounds. She replies, "I never thought you were THAT big." (With a whole lot of emphasis on the "that.") I know this lady, and really know that she was trying to be sincere. Do people not think at all before just BLURTING stuff out of their mouth? I know people have had much worse said to them, but this is my first experience with negative comments.
I can honestly see why people after a while don't really want to share a "number" as far as how much they have lost with the masses. You can be instantly judged for it. I am going to start reserving the specific "number" of how many pounds I have lost to those whom I am the closest to.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
So here are some fun facts for your reading pleasure....
- I have lost 53.6% of my excess weight.
- I have lost 33.2% of my weight from surgery. (How cool is that, I've lost a 1/3 of my body in SIX months!)
- If you average it out per day, I have lost an average of .69 pounds a day.
- I have lost 131 pounds to date.
- I have shaved off 20.5 points off my BMI. (I am so close to an obese BMI. That is pretty remarkable considering I was "Super Morbidly Obese" prior to surgery.)
- Pre-Op I was wearing a size 36 pants. I can now wear a size 24 pants.
- Pre-Op I was wearing a size 4X-5X shirt. Now I can wear a 18-20 shirt.
- I am now exercising 30 minutes a day on my elliptical machine. I have been doing this for almost 6 weeks now.
Having the DS has saved my life!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I have lost 129 pounds!!!
I will be back in the office today for the first time in two weeks. Things have really been swamped. I have been on the road non stop. I think my boss may have to mortgage her house to pay my travel check.
I have to stop by the school I used to work at this morning. I have had to make several stops there since the year has started because of various things my new job entails. I have received many compliments. Today, I am wearing an outfit that actually is a great fit for my body. It will be interesting to see what people say. Not that I am "trying" for compliments, but it sure is nice to hear them from people who have known you for a long time.
Monday, September 24, 2007
I was successful both Saturday and Sunday at maintaining low carbs.
I am seeing my dad this morning since I have a doctor's appointment. I am going to get him to take a full body shot and a face shot for my six month update.
I am quickly approaching a place I have never been. Before, when I lost close to 100 pounds on phen-phen, I got down to about a size 22. (Maybe a 20 on a really good day.) On Saturday, I fit into a size 24. I cannot imagine what it will be like to get into the "teens" sizes, where the first digit is a 1 and not a 2. (Heck, at least I am OUT of the sizes where the first digit was a 3!!!)
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Since the new sizing system is completely throwing me off, I got several different pairs of 24's to try on. They all fit. Yes, they were tight, but I was able to get them on, zip, and button them. I was wearing a size 36 before going into surgery just less than six months ago. Now, I can fit into a 24!!! I did a jig in the dressing room. (I probably would have done cartwheels, but there was not enough room for that!)
I am thrilled about the day that will come when I no longer need to shop in Lane Bryant or the "Women's" department. I look forward to being able to shop in trendy stores, boutiques, and the like. Right now, I am just happy that I can buy clothing in a store, and not have to shop online.
What is especially nice is that this trip to Lane Bryant really helps to reconfirm that my body is indeed changing, even though I am not seeing much progress on the scale right now. I am going to have my dad take pictures of me today when he visits. I will post those soon. Now, it's time to exercise.
A small wow for me. While I was at the conference, I was sitting at the end of the row. The session got very crowded, so people were coming down the row to fill up all remaining seats. Several people passed by me. Before, I would have stood up to make sure that they had room to get through. I didn't need to stand up to give them room.
Yesterday was much better on the carb front. I kept myself under 40 grams of carbs. That is the plan for the next week. I really want to get the carbs back under control. This should be much easier, since I am not driving/traveling all the time.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Today is the "tomorrow" for me trying again. I will get my carbs back in control today. I would love to get to 130 pounds lost by Thursday. I am only a few pounds away. I am packing tuna to eat for lunch, since the food court choices at the conference are crap. I am brining a protein shake mix too. Having the DS put me in control, and took the power food had over me away. Some days my body just needs a reminder of who is in charge.
Friday, September 21, 2007
My food choices have sucked the past several days. I have not been low-carbing at all. I am so thankful that I typically do not travel constantly. When I travel, I usually only end up eating one meal out. This week, I have been eating out for all of them. I am getting my protein in, but lots of carbs are coming in as well. I am going to get this back under control PRONTO.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I apologize in advance for the somewhat mundane nature of my blog. This blog has several purposes. I really wanted to document my journey every step of the way. I think it is helpful for new WLS patients, or those considering WLS. It is also an encouragement to me, to see the steps in the right direction, however small they may be. I'm sure as I get closer to goal there will be many other things that I will ponder, but right now the number on the scale is very important to me.
The next three days are going to be crazy busy with a conference I am attending. I am stocking up on portable protein. I am not sure how great the food choices will be for me, and I want to get enough protein in. I am very sure it will be hard to do low carb today through Saturday. I just hope I maintain, and don't gain.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I have only lost 5.6 pounds this month so far. (Actually I have lost more, but that was because of the stupid rebound weight that came from out of no where. It does not count.) I have seven more days until being six months post-op.
I was expecting to be really sore from my work out last night, but I am not. I feel like my body needs another hard workout today. It felt so wonderful yesterday.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I guess this really got me thinking about how I "used" to handle stress. Here are a few of the ways...
- eat half a bag (or more) of Rainbow Chips Deluxe Cookies
- have three candy bars
- drink 4 or 5 sodas
- hit any available drive through
- eat half of a large pizza
This list really could go on and on, but I am going to stop with a few examples.
No stress in life is worth jeopardizing my health. Emotional eating can kill a body (and soul). I will not be a victim of that anymore. From now on when the man gets me down, I will beat him by prayer and some intense exercise.
Monday, September 17, 2007
I call the dermatologist to see if he will call in the hard core antibotics for me. (Keep in my I am seeing him next Monday.) He would not have any called in for me. Why? It wasn't like I was calling in asking for Vicodin or Oxycotton. It was ACNE medication!!! This means my face is going to have to look like a teen disaster for a whole week, when it could have been avoided.
What makes me the most mad about this is my new job. I am a consultant/specialist. I often get the "your so young," line from many people I work with. Having acne only compounds this problem. It is challenging to get people to take me seriously when I look like a pimpled face girl.
I have shaved 19.5 points off my BMI since March 26th!
I don't have to go to work today, since I will be working all day Saturday. I got up at 6:30 this morning, and was ready to start the day. I have decided that I am going to do some major cleaning. Not exactly sure what all I will clean, but I don't want to sit around. I have so much more energy. Last night, I was literally pacing around my place. This is such a change from the person that I used to be.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
I am twelve pounds from being in the double digits on how much weight left that I want to lose. That is so amazing. Especially since I started with wanting to lose well over 200 pounds.
This afternoon I am going to try on some clothes to see where I am size wise. I also need a light jacket. Fall is starting to hit, and I don't have anything I can wear. I should be ok with my winter coat, since I have an older coat that I "grew out of."
I feel so healthy. What a priceless feeling!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Just an interesting observation concerning who has really been there for me the most throughout this whole weight loss process...my dad. Don't get me wrong, my mom went down to Mexico with me while I was having surgery. She also did some of my basic aftercare when I got home. My dad has been more of a pillar for me throughout this process.
He is so supportive and sweet to me. He really listens to whatever I have to say. It really means a great deal to me. I am really thankful of the close relationship that we have formed over the last eleven years.
Something else I have discovered...my legs don't rub together as badly when I am exercising. Yes, they still rub, but it is not the horrible stinging rub I used to have.
A new goal I have...I want to be able to cross my legs UNDER a table. I was at a meeting today, and I noticed that a few ladies were able to do that. I thought of how cool it would be if I could do that too.
Tonight we went out to dinner to celebrate my sister's birthday. When we were lined up waiting to pay for the meal, I looked at my reflection in the glass. I cannot believe how much smaller I am. It was weird. It was like someone else's body was there, and my head was attached. I have spent a fair amount of time looking at myself in the mirror over the past several months (watching how my body is changing), but this was just a real eye opener to me. I loved what I was seeing.
I got season tickets to Actor's Theater with my friend Michelle. She has been asking me for three years to get them. My biggest reason for saying no was in my mind I was worried whether or not I would fit into the chairs. I know they still may be a tighter fit, but I know I can fit.
Tomorrow I am helping my sister move. I am not exactly thrilled about it, but hopefully it will be ok.
I am only 17.2 pounds away from having an obese BMI!!!
I am only 63 days from my vacation!!!
I know there are statistics about people regaining after WLS. I will not be one of those statistics. I will follow the rules, and get to my destination. I plan on being so caught up in living an active lifestyle that the weight doesn't even have a prayer of coming back on. My best friend is in Hawaii now. She told me she went on a bike ride near a volcano yesterday. These are the types of things that I want to be able to do. I know I am on my way.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
After doing extremely low carb for the past five weeks. I have had higher carb days the past three days. (Higher meaning 65-100 carbs.) My body is responding well. I am going back to low carb tomorrow.
On an unrelated note, I made a really positive work contact today. I am going to start doing some consulting for a few schools she work with. She is a very influential person in our district. She could easily help me in the future if she is impressed with my work. I also know that I can learn a lot from her.
I have so many things in which to be thankful for. Today I hope I show that gratitude.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I have meetings all this week and all next week. What is interesting that is as a pre-op weighing 393 pounds, meeting days never bothered me, because I loved to sit. Now, I love to be able to MOVE. When I am consulting in schools, I get to move around a lot. I absolutely hate meeting days now. It totally pulls my energy down. I really do like the shift that I have made. I can only imagine how much this will continue as I keep losing weight. Gee, who would have thought that there was more to life than sitting on the sofa each evening watching tv or reading? I know now, and I don't want to miss a second of it!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I can't explain how great it feels to be alive. How much more energy is in each step.
Monday, September 10, 2007
- Neil Armstrong
I thought this quote was funny. I guess we all have our vices about what kind of exercise we want to do. I truly hope that one day I will be a runner. Right now, the eliptical is much more low impact for me.
News on the scale front...I am down another .6 pounds. That is three pounds down in two days. :)
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Also, a wow with the boys that I watch. The oldest boy is about to turn 13. The last time I was over, we were having a conversation, and he really kept staring at me. He didn't say anything, but I could tell he knew something was different. I was telling his mom about it last night, and she said he commented to her about how different I looked, and how much weight I had lost. :)
Time to go workout.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Tonight I am going to babysit, and they have a rowing machine. After the kids go to bed, I'm going to give it a whirl. :)
I have looked many times at those pictures were people had their entire body in one half of their pants, and thought that was so amazing. I also thought, "I'll never reach that point." After trying these pants on today, I can definitely see that I am on my way to doing this.
Oh Happy Days!!!! :)
Friday, September 7, 2007
Since I have updated my goal weight, here are my new stats!
- I have lose 50.8% of my total excess weight.
- I have 115 pounds more to lose.
- I have lost 30.2% from my highest body weight.
I am determined not to let the man (aka the SCALE) get me down. I was reading through Tia's journey on her blog, and she has had several similar experiences like mine. No one said this weight loss trip wasn't going to have dips and potholes. I am not exempt from these.
I am really starting to like my job. I am not saying I want to stay in it forever, because I really do miss teaching students. I am learning a great deal, and getting to work with some really gifted individuals. The experiences I am gaining are invaluable. I know when I do go back in the classroom these experiences will help to mold me into an even better teacher.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
She wanted to say something, but I really did stop her dead in her tracks. It really is a different world dating when you are morbidly obese.
Although there are days when I do get really lonely, I know that right now I need to concentrate on me now. Bringing a guy into the equation would only make things too complicated now.
At work, my cubbymate said something really sweet. She said, "You are really starting to get a defined waist, and it is really small. You have a nice hourglass shaped figure." The other comment came from a secretary of a building that I frequent. As I was leaving today, she stopped and asked me how much weight I had lost.
The timing of the compliments could not have been better. I am convinced that the majority of the battle is not with the actual scale, but the scary "battlefield of the mind." That is where things get really tough. This surgery is more than just losing pounds, it has to deal with the spirit and mind too.
Today at work we had a retirement party for our secretary. It was a potluck event. I got an entire plate of food, and I ate about 3/4 of it. At first this really freaked me out, then I started looking around the room at how people PILED their plates to the point where they were almost ready to break. Yes, I did have food that covered almost the entire surface area of the plate, yet it was just a spoonful of this and that, etc. Then I watched as so many people got back up and got a SECOND heaping plate. Yes, I used to be one of those people. Thank heavens that desire is gone. I no longer want that at all.
Time to go exercise.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
I know that the body can fluctuate. I started my period early last month. I am not sure how early, so I might be bloating from PMS. I could be just retaining water. Heaven only knows, perhaps I have even gained a small few ounces of muscle from exercising consistently.
I am just discouraged, because thoughts flood my head of failure. What if this is the end of the road for me? I still have a significant amount of weight that I need to lose. Not just to lose it to be a twig, but I need to lose a significant amount in order to be healthy. I have failed so many diets. I don't want to think that I have broken my DS.
I am going to keep plugging away, day by day. Hopefully the tide will turn soon. I need some encouragement ASAP.
On an unrelated note, I got to see an old friend, Cheryl today for lunch. I don't get to see her that often, but it is amazing, because she is one of those people who it was just like yesterday since I last saw her. I thank God for her friendship.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Monday, September 3, 2007
I want to be free from the chains of obesity like nothing else. Each day I am making positive steps toward this. I pray for help to "stay the course" even when things are difficult. Nothing worth having in life comes easy.
Sometimes my lack of patience amazes me. I have been obese my entire life, and now I get so impatient wanting the scale to move. I truly think in a year or a year and a half, I will look back to some of these entries in my blog and laugh. I have been obese since I was 8-9 years old. I am ready to live a life with no chains.