The scale says I weigh 215, but I don't feel it myself. When I look in the mirror I still see my thunder thighs, a pooching stomach, and other areas with fat. Yet my scale says I weigh 215 today. Before my DS, I really just tried to avoid looking in the mirror at all...I guess I had simply gotten so big I couldn't even stand to look at myself. Now that I am losing weight, I am often in front of the mirror for extended periods of time.
Another example of this body dysmorphia I seem to be developing....Yesterday, I was talking with my secretary saying how I wish that I could be thin like her for Christmas. She gave me the strangest look and said, "I'm a size 22." I thought to myself, "Holy Smokes, I never really saw myself as being smaller than her...yet I am."
So at what point does your head catch up with your physical body? I mean I am almost at the point where I realize that no matter what chair I sit down in, I'm not going to break it. That one aspect alone has taken me almost nine months! The mental aspect of this surgery really does take some getting accustomed to, especially if you have been SMO as long as I have been.
The one thing I am most thankful for by having the DS is that for the first time in my life, I feel like I am in control. Not only am I in control, but when I make the right choices, I typically see good results. It is such an empowering feeling after years and years of failure with dieting. The DS is a powerful tool!