Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A Fog of Thoughts....

It is amazing how long it takes for things to sink in this thick skull of mine. Yet sometimes I wonder how I'm expecting myself to blink and erase almost two decades of being fat. In certain times, I think I am being way too hard on myself.

Facebook has been an interesting thing the past week. I've had two friends from college, and one from high school give me the whole, "Wow, I didn't recognize you....you look amazing," response. I was about 220-230 pounds when I left high school, and around 275-280 pounds when I left college. (Gee, I really pushed that freshman fifteen huh? Guess I thought that was a YEARLY suggested weight gain.)

Today at our faculty meeting, I was sitting with some teachers that I don't normally sit by. I was talking with one of them, and said how good she looked, etc. She said how she had lost twenty pounds. I said some comment about weight, to which she replied, "but your not heavy." Words like these are still hard to sink in and really stick.

Ben and I went to eat at Outback tonight. He is in the middle of a crunch class to work towards finishing up seminary (he should graduate in December). It was good to spend a little bit of time together in the middle of the start back of the new year.

Tomorrow night I am doing a "first." I was quite the wallflower when I was huge. It was such a risk getting out and meeting people. On Halloween, I met an acquaintance of Ben's named Veronicka. It was a very brief meeting, but we seemed to hit it off. She emailed and asked if after the holidays if I would like to start hanging out some. I was pretty excited about it. She seems like a nice girl, and I am open to learning more about her. Having a friend is always good... :)

I stayed up for about two hours longer than I should have last night. I did NOTHING productive. I'm going to go to bed tonight.

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