Last night, I was fortunate enough to be able to (attempt) to attend a political rally with a friend. It turned into us waiting on the interstate for 2 hours, and then being told that the facility had been locked down, and no more people were being allowed inside. I had a great time being able to talk with my good friend for some time.
She was talking about how she had struggled with weight since getting married. At 393.6 pounds, I would have rolled my eyes and thought all sorts of things. Now, I actually listened to her. Ok, so she didn't have a ton of weight she needed to lose, but she was still struggling. Who am I to be judgemental and rude? It is kinda like how I now chuckle at some of my brother and sister's things that they think are major life deals, simply because I realize that they are not. I have been through that stage in life, and know in the end how minor they are. I'm sure many have thought the same of my struggles. Yet, we need to be sensitive because it matters to that person, because it is where THEY are.
I got an email from my best friend Mandi. She is hurting so badly. My heart aches for her. She was involved (engaged, and almost married) to a horrible guy. He felt it was his mission in life to help every single overweight person realize just what they were, etc. He was a big man himself, but of course that was different. I knew this man had messed with her self esteem, but it wasn't until an email I received yesterday that I started to realize the many layers of HURT this man had caused her. It is going to take awhile to get out of this mess.
Of course, this made me reflect on how Ben has treated me. He has seriously treated me like a queen. He met me when I weighed between 175-180 pounds. I now weigh 144 pounds. He liked me when I was heavier, and does not like me "more" now because I have lost weight. From the way he briefly talks about things, I get the impression that he would like me to put back on a few pounds (he certainly doesn't want me to lose any more weight). Before Ben knew (and after) that I had WLS, he knew that eating better/losing weight/getting fit was a part of my life, and he was ENCOURAGING to me. He has said a few insentive things about fat people in general, but knowing what I know of his heart, I knew he didn't even realize what he had said. When I would point out how that particular comment could be offensive to someone who was fat/or currently is fat, he was profusely apologetic. I am thankful for such a sweet and loving man. It makes me think of the comment that Vicki (a fellow DSer) said the other day, "My husband didn't even know I was fat until I told him that I wanted weight loss surgery." I am slowly getting the idea that Ben really does love me....not just a skinny me....but me for me.
Life is good.