Saturday, July 26, 2008


I have spoken frequently about the mental battles that come from shedding over 200 pounds, and the smaller I get, the more fierce the battle in my head seems to be.

While we were ballroom dancing, I was making an intentional effort to NOT look at my feet, but to actually look at Ben. (Trust me, he is much more appealing to look at than my feet, but I want to work on my footwork, so it is hard!) I told him I was worried that I would step on his feet accidentally. He said, "It's ok. It is not like you weigh that much." Hmmm...I scan the room to see if he is talking to someone else...wait, he is saying that TO ME. I still see a huge person when I look in the mirror. I still think I am much bigger than people who are 3-4 sizes, or 60 pounds heavier than me.

The other comment Ben said to me tonight was, "What a lovely silhouette you have." I do cherish this sweet comments, but trying to let them sink into my head is very hard.

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