Today was my sister-in-law's baby shower. My sister and I hosted it. I so did not want to be there. I am trying to keep a healthy perspective, but both of my younger siblings got married before me, and now my brother's wife will be having a baby soon. Maybe I'm not mentally ready to be an aunt. I did the best I could to fake it, and act like I was having a really good time. While I wonder things like, Will I ever get married? Will I have kids of my own one day? I trust God with my whole heart, but I do have moments where I wonder. I know God is big enough for all of my questions. I just don't want to ask so many questions that I drown out His voice.
On an unrelated note, I have a smaller belly. Meaning that this morning as I was weighing myself, I noticed that I don't have to "peer" as far over my belly to actually read the numbers on the scale. Several people at the shower commented on my weight loss. I have always tried to deflect attention from myself.
I have also been reconsidering a desire that I have had for many years. I want to go to the Holy Land. Before WLS, there would be no way this could happen for many reasons. One, I would probably have to get two airplane seats. Two, My overall physical health would prevent me from being able to keep up, let alone enjoy the extensive day tours. This desire is coming back really strong on my heart again.