Exercise Cartoon

Renting Verses Owning

My thoughts for this post come from reading a post at "Cranky Fitness." She discusses how different things are when you are renting verses owning.

I have owned my condo for just over four years. There are many upkeep type things that I now worry about that I never once gave a second thought to as a renter. For example, one thing right now I need to schedule is for my carpets to be shampooed. This is something I would have never given a second thought to when I was a renter.

How does this relate to my body? For most of my life, I have been a renter, not a owner. It has only been since having my DS, that I've really worked at starting to take ownership of it. What I put into my body matters. Yes, I make mistakes, but I make them far fewer than before. I have given up Coca Cola for good. I read labels more closely. I am working on making exercise a consistent part of my life.

I could have continued to view my body as a rental, but at what cost? At the rate I was going, I would have been on permanent disability within five-ten years. I have no clue what health problems would have began to compound. Would I have even made it to my 40th birthday? Many questions run through my mind.

I could continue to live in denial, and go back to my old ways of thinking that my body is a rental, but it will eventually catch up with me, and I will have to live with the consequences. Every moment I am making decisions on which way I view my body.

My Virtual Model at 145 Pounds

Here I am in the virtual world at 145 pounds. Now, if I can only get there in the REAL world.

I have tried several times to post a You Tube Video, which I know how to do, but it is not working properly. I wanted to show a video of a ZUMBA class. Since I am waiting for the next Fitness Boot Camp to start, I have decided I want to give these a go. I am going to my first class on Saturday, and hope to get to attend one on Sunday too.

My Sister and These Last Few Pounds!

I was talking with my sister after work today, and she was telling me that mom was going to bring her Weight Watchers books. I asked her why, and she is starting a diet. I wonder if this has anything to do with me being smaller than she is now.

These last few pounds have been a bear. I so want to be done with losing weight, and go into maintenance mode. I wish I could push the fast forward button right now.

Dexa Scans (Bone Density Scans)

DSers need to get a Dexa scan one year after their surgery (for a baseline), and then every other year following.

Diana Cox reminded DSers tonight it is extremely important to watch our trends with these tests as well. She had lost 6%-8% of her bone density, even though she had excellent numbers, this is still something to be worried about.

Thanks for reminding me of this!

What a Day!

I had a great day today. I just got in about 15 minutes ago. I spent the entire day with Ben from 8:00 this morning. We went to church together, then to watch a dinner theater production of Beauty and the Beast. I helped him clean up his apartment, took a nap, had a late dinner, and we took a nice walk.

Today when he hugged me, he said I can tell you are getting thinner when I hug you. I have lost around 15 pounds since we have been talking, but that baffles my mind. Can just a few pounds really make that much of a difference? I guess I have a hard time noticing the difference in just a few pounds. From friends that have been thin for most of their life, they talk about how they can really notice when they pick up five to ten pounds. I am just not able to see how losing a few pounds can be so tangible to someone. The compliment was so sweet though.

16 Months Post Op

This dress is a size MEDIUM! :)
I will try to post pictures of me in a form fitting top and pair of pants too.

I cannot believe it has been one year and four months since I had the DS! The further I get from surgery, the faster time seems to fly. My life is so full now, it amazes me how fast the time passes.

STATS:

* I lost 6 pounds this month. I would have liked to have seen this number higher, but considering I went on a trip for nine days where I ate VERY carb heavy (because I didn't like most of the food, so I had tons of bread), I am pleased with the weight loss.
* My current weight is 161 pounds.
* I have lost a grand total of 232.6 pounds.
* I have lost 59% of my body (from my surgery weight until today.)
* I have lost 93.5% of my excess weight.
* I am 3 tenths of a point from a NORMAL BMI!!!
* I am 16 pounds to my pre-plastics goal.
* I wear mainly medium in tops (8/10), and do not see me getting smaller up top until I have some type of plastics work done on my arms.
* As for pants/skirts, I am in a size 10. I still have a few pairs of size 12 that fit, but most of my clothing is a size 10.

In thinking beyond the stats...

I am continually amazed at what my body can do. Even some simple things truly amaze me. I have so much more physical stamina. I am stepping out of the comfort zone I have lived in for so long with running, and soon this Fitness Boot Camp. I am also going to start going to a Spinning Class at a local church.

I am also amazed at how small my bone structure is. I have really began to notice that the past few months. Looking in the mirror is still something that trips me out. I really do not recognize the girl that is staring back at me. At the end of dancing last night, we did a line dance. This was the first time of the evening I really had a chance to get to watch myself in the mirror. I didn't really look different than all the other female dancers that were there. I wish I could maintain this rational level of thinking all the time, but the mental war still rages on.

I saw my sister yesterday on a family outing. I know for certain now that I am smaller than her. Please don't misread that statement as me being competitive with my sister about weight. It is just that I have always been the fat one, and it is nice that I am the smaller one for a change. I had many many years of being the fat sister title, and I am certainly ready to give that up.

Comments

I have spoken frequently about the mental battles that come from shedding over 200 pounds, and the smaller I get, the more fierce the battle in my head seems to be.

While we were ballroom dancing, I was making an intentional effort to NOT look at my feet, but to actually look at Ben. (Trust me, he is much more appealing to look at than my feet, but I want to work on my footwork, so it is hard!) I told him I was worried that I would step on his feet accidentally. He said, "It's ok. It is not like you weigh that much." Hmmm...I scan the room to see if he is talking to someone else...wait, he is saying that TO ME. I still see a huge person when I look in the mirror. I still think I am much bigger than people who are 3-4 sizes, or 60 pounds heavier than me.

The other comment Ben said to me tonight was, "What a lovely silhouette you have." I do cherish this sweet comments, but trying to let them sink into my head is very hard.

Dancing Tonight and Fitness Boot Camp

I am gonig ballroom dancing tonight, and I cannot wait! I really do enjoy going. I would love to become really good at it. It is certainly a challenge, but I do not feel overwhelmed, like it is something I cannot do.

Speaking of new challenges:

FITNESS BOOT CAMP (Click the words for the link to the site. Links are very hard to see on my blog.) I am going to do the next Fitness Boot Camp that they offer. This is set to begin sometime in August. I watched the You Tube video on the site, and I want to try it out. I have lots of fears that I will be the slowest and most out of shape, but I am not going to let that hold me back. There will never be perfect circumstances, and I can make this happen from where I am right now. What an accomplishment it will be to say that I completed the ten sessions.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Driver's License 2004 (Above)

Driver's License 2008:
WOW...What a Difference!!!

Sorry for the poor photo quality, but I think this captures the difference quite nicely.