Two More Pictures

Today we celebrated my dad's 60th birthday. It was a great day. I felt like a million bucks in the dress I wore today. For the first time in a long while, I am actually excited about what I am seeing when I look back from the mirror and in the camera.

Reality is also setting in quickly. I am leaving on a plane on Friday to meet my boyfriend's entire family. Yes, I knew our relationship was going in that direction, but Friday becomes reality when I start to meet and spend time with his family. I have already met his mom, and have interacted on a limited basis with his sister-in-law, and one brother on Facebook. This week is so full, I really won't have much time to think about until it is almost time to happen.

Adventures in Panty Hose!

I hate panty hose. I've never been a fan of them. I remember all the nightmarish events I had when I would try to wear panty hose. It seemed like it would take twenty minutes to get them on. I could never wear a pair of panty hose twice. I would usually have the crotch ripped a large way by the time I had rangled them on. The panty hose often ended up in the trash before lunchtime. Heaven forbid that I even have to go to the bathroom! So, I went with the fat girl alternative....knee highs. Even those were miserable.

Today is the first time I have worn panty hose since I had the DS. I did wear thigh highs one day, but that is it. The dress I wore today really cute, but seriously needed panty hose in order to look as dressy as it should. I went to Wal-Mart this morning and bought panty hose. I went to the restroom and put them on. Here was a sight....I was standing in one shoe (no way my feet were going to touch the floor in a Wal-Mart restroom), and putting my other foot into the panty hose. Here is what I discovered....

1. Panty hose are not that bad when you weigh 142 pounds.

2. The panty hose actually went where they were supposed to.

3. It was a breeze pulling them up and down throughout the day going to the restroom.

4. The crotch did not rip, and I was able to wear them all the way up the way they were intended to be worn.

Here is the dress: (I got this dress for $14 at Ann Taylor, and it was originally $140!) Ben LOVED this dress!

Voluntarily Upgraded :)

On Thursday night, I hit the curb, and my tire now has a "zit". It is an accident waiting to happen. I should have gotten it fixed Saturday, but I slept instead. Ben insisted that I use his car since I do far more driving than he does. I am using it until Tuesday evening when I will be able to get my car fixed.

Last night we ended up going to a friend's house for dinner. They are both GREAT cooks. I knew we would be having some good eats. It was pasta with an amazing sauce. Our hosts loaded up our bowls. I was thinking about the previous night and how I tried to "out eat" myself, and the pain that I was in. Everyone else cleaned their plates, and I still had about half of my pasta remaining. I was proud of myself that I stopped prior to being stuffed. I was content. When we had dessert, I only ate the top part of my cinnamon roll, and not the entire thing. I liked that I was able to exercise some self-control.

Ben was cute last night. We got on the subject of women being pregnant. I told him how there are some women who end up having miscarriages unneccessarily because they are too worried about the number on the scale than their child. Ben said he had a hard rule for me if we were to marry. He said he wanted me to eat until my heart was content, and not to think twice about the weight that I would be putting on.

I love sitting in Ben's lap. One thing I told him last night is that I am amazed that he is able to lift his leg (to cross it) with ME sitting on top of him. This floors me. He reminds me that I am not used to how light I am. He really has been a blessing on the self-esteem front as I am working on developing a more positive body image.

I Was Tagged...

by Fat Mum Slim.....

Randomness of Tiffany....

1. I love my Netflix subscription. It has allowed me to develop my interest in foreign films. Also, I have become quite the fan of watching a TV show by the season. I actually like being able to watch it in an indepth manner like that.

2. I love my IPOD. I have fun looking for and creating new playlists. Music makes me feel so good.

3. I am very uncomfortable around my dad's family. As I've gotten older, the less this bothers me. I've started to come to terms that it is ok that we are not close.

4. I'm a dipper. I love being able to dip my food into something. It seems to make it taste so much better.

5. I'm learning how not to be the person that always bends. I do not like confrontation, but as I've gotten older, I've learned that there is value in not always being the door mat. Some issues are simply worth holding your ground.

6. I really enjoy keeping a blog. I didn't know how I would like doing it when I first started, and I find it very therapeutic. I am not at the point where I would want everyone in the world to read my blog. (I have not let Ben read my blog yet. I have sent him snipets that I have pre-selected, but I'm just not ready for him to read everything yet.) I like the anonymity of it just mainly being people I don't see everyday. On the flip side, I've met some AMAZING people I would LOVE to get to know from having a blog.

7. I am learning to love the camera. I used to HATE having my picture taken, but now I think it is fun. The digital camera has become one of my best friends. :)

I'm supposed to tag seven more people. I will come back to edit this post and do that at a later time.

Fun Photos

Wow....does Ben make me feel like a princess. He had me stand up on top of this planter, and he motioned to have Mandi take a picture of me. He made some comment like, "Look at this...behold this beauty."

Mmmmm.....at the Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen. YUMMO! This was actually Ben and my desserts, I just posed for dramatic effect. :) I ate the Buckeye and about 1/3 of my ice cream and pie.

Lesson Learned

Last night my stomach was KILLING ME. I have particularly noticed over the past few weeks how much more I can eat quantity wise. This is to be expected, as over time our stomach is supposed to stretch back out, and our rearranged intestines is what helps DSer's to maintain their weight loss. Even though I am almost 20 months out, I love having the restriction, and want to do the best that I can to maintain the restriction.


Last night, I had a LOT of food. For a regular person, no it was not a lot quantity wise, but for me it certainly was. I didn't feel sick at all. I didn't feel uncomfortable, until about 10 pm. I felt like I had rocks in my stomach, and I was in miserable pain. I was thirsty, but drinking only seemed to make it worse. The feeling finally passed, but did I ever learn a lesson. Moderation is the key. I've read that health expects say you should stop at a 7 and not at a 10 in terms of feeling full. (Ten would mean you feel that after Thanksgiving meal stuffed, and seven being content but not miserable.)


The changes I need to make are:


1. Going back to eating my protein completely first. This is going back to the basics. I need the protein, and it has to be a non-negotiable.

2. Examining the quantities of what I eat in a single sitting. I know I need to eat multiple times a day, but need to work on the quantity of food items. Just because an particular item goes down very well, doesn't mean I need to eat twice as much of it. One example I can think of right now is toast. I have been having two pieces of toast in the morning, and usually in the evening over the past two weeks. I need to scale that back. Perhaps my body would be just fine with one piece of toast in the morning.

A Rant

I went on a small rant with Ben last night. Poor guy. I felt bad afterwards, I guess I just really needed some reassurance. I had called to see if I could meet him to pick up something he had bought for my friend. He said he was going to Dairy Queen with some friends, but I could meet him afterwards. After I hung up, I immediately called back. I asked if he was ashamed to take the fat girl to Dairy Queen. (I also had brought up how one time a few months ago, after we went out, he said he was going to a party at his friend's house, and didn't invite me.) He did everything in his power to reassure me.

We ended up going out to Dennys afterwards, and I got some shrimp. (Mmmmmmm!) At the end of the meal, I had decided I wanted dessert, and he wanted me to assure him that I could eat all of it (in a fun sort of way). I told him that I would do my best. :)

The Day

I ate like CRAP today. Seriously. I have no more fun sized M&M bags in my classroom, and that my friends is a wonderful praise. I wanted to tell one of my kids to guard them and cut me off from them. M&Ms are a big trigger food for me. It doesn't take a second to have them gone either. Well, a handful here and a handful there certainly add up to way too many carbs.

I was proud of how I handled a situation today with one of my students, Andre. He was in a very testy mood, and it escalated when I took the kids to special area this morning. I really thought he was going to go off. I took him back to the classroom, and he was seriously trying to buck everything I said. I finally asked him what gives, why was he acting this way. He spilled everything about how he had a bad morning at daycare, and that it had affected his day thus far. I am happy I took the time to relate to him, and I know we made progress in our relationship.

I am so pumped about Christmas day. :) I saw an article in the paper about adopting a soldier on Christmas Day. I asked Ben about it, and he is game. We are going to pick up a soldier at 8am on Christmas Day, he/she will go to church, my grandmothers (to get a home cooked meal), and something else, before we have to take them back to the base at 9pm. I am very excited about this opportunity to be a blessing to our military in some small way.

Looking Forward to the Weekend...Already

I am ready for the weekend...already. I hope that doesn't make me seem like a bad person. I love my students....I love my job, but for the first time in such a long time my personal life has been so fulfilling, I do look forward to it.

Friday afternoon I am meeting my friend Wendy (who is my best friend that teaches at another school), after that I am going to see my friend Mandi who is in town for a training. On Saturday, I am going to watch my students play basketball. I have three ball players and two cheerleaders so I will get to support several of my students at once. Then, I will get to see Mandi for lunch. Saturday evening I will spend time with Ben. We are going to play Scrabble and pool, go for a walk (on an indoor track), and have dinner. On Sunday after church we are going down to Bardstown to celebrate my dad's 60th birthday.

I have eight more work days until I get a vacation. Woooo Hoooo!

A Crooked Kind of Perfect

I've never read this book, but the title seemed to really fit my thoughts for this post. I have blogged about how fierce the body image fit is right now for me. I am comparing myself to people whose weight is close to mine, and I wonder why my body doesn't look like theirs. I forget that they too have flaws with their body. I have to accept that there are so many different body types out there. My type may be a crooked kind of perfect, but so is everyone elses.