Happy 29th Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday! :) What a year it has been! This time last year, I weighed 310 pounds. I currently weigh 164 pounds. I have lost 146 pounds this past year!

I've learned that my body can indeed do things that I never had before dreamed possible. I've went skydiving, I've taken up running, I exercise on a regular basis, and I went horseback riding. These are things that were closed off to me as a 393 pound person. My energy level and zest for life is amazing. I am so thankful that God opened the doors and allowed me to have the DS surgery.

I'm looking forward to a great 29th year! Who knows what will be in store this year! :)

Quote I Found Tonight

"Someday someone is going to walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else..."

I don't know where things will go with Ben, but this quote puts things in perspective about relationships for me right now.

Horseback Riding!!!

Ben took me out for my birthday surprise day today. We went horseback riding first! He said he remembered that I wanted to go do that, and decided my birthday celebration would be perfect. I was nervous about getting on the horse (and staying on it too!), but Ben helped me get on the horse. After a few laps around the ring, we went for about 2-3 miles on a trail through the woods. I did not fall off the horse! It was so much fun. My butt is so sore though!!!

What really strikes me about this picture is that I look normal. I don't feel like I often look "normal," I still feel like a really fat disguisting person. Then I see pictures of myself, or my reflection in the mirror, and I am floored.

Next, we had dinner at Red Lobster. From Red Lobster, we went to see Oklahoma put on by the Jewish Community Center. We ended the night with a walk through the park. For my birthday he gave me a C.S. Lewis book, and he also got us both the book "Love and Respect." We are going to read and study it together.

Today was AMAZING. BEST birthday celebration EVER!!!

Scale Moving Down

The scale moved down three pounds this morning! I am down to 164 pounds now. The biggest thing is that I saw my BMI was 25.7. I am ALMOST to a NORMAL BMI!!! Oh Happy Days!

I wanted to mention that I have not forgotten about measuring my inches. I have decided to wait awhile until the next time I measure them. I am now getting to the point where the changes are not going to be "drastic" anymore. I really don't have the need to measure each month now. I measured at the beginning of June, and will probably measure again at the first of August/September.

I have decided to bump my goal weight down to 145. When I was really heavy, I used to think that I was "big boned" which I guess many a fat girl thought. The truth is that as more and more weight sheds I realize that I am much more petite than I ever would have imagined bone structure wise.

Second 4th of July Get Together

I went downtown to meet some friends of mine from church. I was excited because a guy who we all used to hang out with was back in town with his wife. It was great to meet her, and to see him again. He was very interested in my weight loss. He asked in a very sweet way, and was very complimentary. I am really not used to the attention though. I like remaining in the background when it comes to things really personal. I can't wait in a few years, when people who have known me really adjust to the concept that I am a thinner person, and my fat ghost doesn't resurrect itself in many conversations.

4th of July Cookout

I wen to a Fourth of July Cookout with Ben's friends today. I did pretty well in this social situation, much better than I would have done 226 pounds heavier. I still have a decent amount of anxiety of being in these type of situations. The first thing I did was size myself up with the other ladies. There was one lady who was bigger than me. Next, I wouldn't hardly allow myself anything to eat. I had one chicken breast and 5 crackers. I refused cake when it was offered to me. (How I wanted to eat that cake...but I didn't want to feed into the stereotype of no wonder she is so big, look at that big piece of cake she is stuffing in her mouth.) I did really push the fluids down like no tomorrow. I drank a TON of water.

On the way home, I got to thinking, why do I place myself so much more below these other ladies. Seriously, at best I am 30 pounds heavier than they are...so why am I letting myself get mentally beat up over my size? I am working on this mental stuff, but boy is it ever TOUGH.

Ben told me last night that he loved me! I am so excited about my birthday surprise tomorrow. I am certainly brining my camera to take pictures!

Now, it is off to see fireworks and hear some live music! Happy 4th everyone!

Ah Well

I couldn't think of another title for this post, perhaps because it is early, and I am tired. Ah Well will have to do.

There was a mix up with part of my labs, so after working in my classroom yesterday, I had to go back over and have blood redrawn. Apparently, two tubes of my blood were supposed to be frozen, and they were not. When I got home late last night, there was a message about my labs, so I need to call today to see if some of the results have already come in. I also made a stop to get a paper signed saying that I have 20/20 vision, so I can get my vision restriction taken off my license. I had Lasik done in 2006, and have not taken the time to get this done.

I met Ben yesterday at 3:00, and went to the nursing home with him. (He is a volunteer chaplain at two different nursing homes.) I used to do nursing home visitation in college, and forgot how much of a delight it is. It was also the first time that I got to hear him preach. It is so amazing when you get to see people doing what they love, and are obviously called to do.

We sat through two different dinners while doing visitation, and I had forgotten how insistent elderly people can be about eating. I didn't eat anything, but it certainly was not for lack of them trying to get me to eat. Then at the second dining room, there was only one chair at the table, so Ben let me sit down, and he stood. One of the ladies, who knew that we were dating, suggested that I just "sit in his lap." He chuckled about that not being appropriate, but how he would like that. The whole time I am just floored that someone actually thought I was small enough to sit on a man's lap. (There is NO way that I would do this, as I still weigh 167 pounds, but still!)

After we left the nursing home, we had a bit of a drive to get back to campus. He starts talking to me about my birthday surprise. He says that I need to start off wearing jeans, but that I need a dress to change into. He said he has bought me two gifts. One gift is for me, and the other gift is for "us." My imagination has been running wild.

Ben also mentioned how eager he was to meet my family. I told him that my sister only lives a mile away from him. We dropped by, and he got to meet her. I really stared my sister up and down last night. I honestly feel that we are EXACTLY the same size. I am not ready to stop losing, and it will be strange from this point forward being the smaller sibling, as I have always been the HUGE one.

When Ben met me at my car last night, I was reading "Raising Fit Kids in a Fat World." This is a book that interests me for many reasons, because I was an obese child, because I teach children, and because I would like to have children myself. He commented on the book, and was curious as to why I was reading a book on obesity. I found that interesting. I wonder if he views me as a normal sized person, who has always been at a semi-healthy weight. I just told him that I am reviewing the book for my blog (which I will be doing), and left it at that. I know there will come a time that I will want him to know about my whole WLS journey, but right now I'm just enjoying that he likes me for me.

Pic of Ben and I Together

Thoughts on Skinny B*tch

Ok, I'm not really impressed guys. I've read about 2/3's of this book, and it is not doing a whole lot for me. I also feel more things in this book are backed up with the opinion of the authors rather than actual facts. There are a few gems I want to share....

ON SODA:
"Brace yourselves, girls: Soda us the liquid Satan. It is the devil. There is nothing in soda that should be put in your body." (AMEN)

On JUNK FOOD:
"Junk food will never go away. It becomes more alluring by the minute with laboratory-developed aromas, artificial flavors, chemical food colors, toxic preservatives, and heart-stopping hydrogenated oils. We know these are all impossible to resist, but no one ever got skinny on junk food. Use your head. Candy bars, potato chips, and ice cream taste like heaven, of course. But they will pitch a tent on your hips and camp out all year."

ON SIMPLE CARBS:
"Simple carbs suck and are nutritionally beneficial as toilet paper."

ON INGREDIENTS:
"And no matter what, don't fall prey to clever advertising used on the packaging. The companies that call their products 'wholesome' or 'nutritious' can be the same ones that add hydrogenated oils, artificial flavors, or synthetic preservatives. Just read the ingredients of everything you buy. It's not a big deal, assuming you are literate."

More to come later when I finish this book!

Anticipation

I I talked with Ben for about an hour last night. I know that he is planning something for my birthday, and we are going to celebrate it on Saturday. Imgaine my surprise when he said that celebrating my birthday Saturday was going to be an "all day affair." I felt awful saying it could not start until 3 pm, because I have my final GED class. I'm looking forward with great anticipation for what will happen on Saturday.