I Sorta Get It

I used to hate those "One Size Fits All" shirts. When I became a teenager, the label changed to "One Size Fits MOST." Ben's mom recently got back from Disney, and brought me a large lounge type shirt from the park. Let me just say I could SWIM in it. I could easily take away 40% of the material, and it would still be plenty roomy. Now I get why thin people couldn't believe there are actually some people who couldn't fit those shirts. Being on the other side of the fence, I remember what that was like as well.

A New Lowest Weight...

We interupt this blog for a new lowest weight...142. I have lost two pounds so far this month. My BMI is now a 22.2. The biggest thing is that it put me to losing a cool 251.6 pounds. I had said how if I were to lose one more pound, I would not be bothered by that because I wanted to be able to say I had lost 250 pounds.

I am going back to bed now. I went to the ER for a bad migraine headache. Now I need to get some extra sleep.

Different Weekend

This weekend has been really different. I guess I really hadn't thought about how much of my weekends revolve around doing things with Ben. Since we are both very busy during the week, the weekend is the best time for us to spend some quality time together. I am not saying it was bad that I spent this weekend without him, but it is so different from what I have become accustomed to doing.

A WOW! (And Other Updates)

I bought my first SIZE FOUR pair of dress pants!!! Woooo Hoooo!!! :)

I also was getting my toaster out this afternoon. I had it stored up high in a cabinet. I brought over a chair, and stood up on top of it, and rooted around in the cabinet for it. For so long I would never stand in these chairs (hardly ever sat in them), because they were so rickety. I didn't even realize how long I had stood on it, and it wasn't moving at all.

Basically for the past month, I have been eating whatever I want. Getting a scary call from my PCP really worried me. Suddenly the number on the scale and the size of my pants took a back seat. I wanted to stay healthy. I have had a truckload of carbs, and to be honest, more of them have been sugar related.

It was fun for a while, but I am ready to go back on my full DS "diet." One thing I was doing was having a large blueberry muffin from Starbucks every work day morning. I am giving that up, and going to a slice (maybe two) of low-carb bread with peanut butter or cream cheese. I am going back to two protein shakes a day. (I was at one this past month.) Especially since I have found protein shakes that I know are very tasty, there is really no reason not to utilize them. I am also going to start doing tuna once a day again. I think Ricotta fluff will also be coming back. I am going back to cheese sticks too.

Last night I took one of my students, Bry'shawn, to have dinner and get ice cream. His mom had written me a really sweet note about how he had matured this school year. She said how she knew that I had a big role in this process. That made me feel really good. Tonight I am going to go to the Oyster Supper fundraiser at my mom's old school.

Wasn't Sure What to Say...

I have mentioned several times before about my best friend who got the lapband. (For newer readers, I am not bashing her. We are all fighting our way out of obesity.) She had not been to her doctor in six months, and had gained 23 pounds. I honestly did not know what to say. She went into this surgery so uneducated. She has not tried to lose weight.

What does her situation do for me? It serves as a stern reminder. The thought of gaining weight back scares the crap out of me. I don't want to be a weight loss statistic. I want to beat the odds. My friend's situation also completely reinforces for me the need for a cap. I have blogged about how most thin people have this....a "something has got to give," point. For me, that point is 150 pounds. I cannot go back over that number. It is so easy to let the weight creep back on.

Now onto things that I completely suck at....

1. Airport Eating: I take the airport as my time to graze as much as I want. I buy nothing but CRAP. I did this when I went down to Colombia and out to Seattle. I know that I won't do this when I travel with Ben later on this month and next month. Why? I would not embarrass myself like that in front of him. The most I will probably do with him is get a cup of Starbucks.

2. Remembering what this whole journey is all about. It is not just about fitting into a certain size of clothing, or achieving a certain number on the scale. This is about my life long health. The decisions I make each day will impact my health in the long term.

3. Realizing that the specifics of my weight are not affecting Ben' (possible) long term plans with me. I think if I were a size 4, if I were 10 pounds lighter, etc...Ben would want to marry me. Again, Ben has done nothing to associate my weight with how much he loves me. He goes overboard to assure me he loves me regardless of my weight. It is just stupid head games that my mind plays. They stink.

Seattle/Vancouver Photo Post

I Must Be in Kansas!

The WOWS do not come as often these days being 19.5 months post-op, but the one I had last night was AMAZING! Ben has been wanting to pick me up, and I have resisted to the utmost. Last night he was kissing me, my hands were around his neck....and he did it. He picked me up off the ground. I felt like a fancy actress in the middle of a love scene. MY MAN PICKED ME UP!!! WOOOOO HOOOO!!!

Hatred Abounds

It saddens me just how often people look for a way to show themselves superior to others. I am ever noticing hatred towards fat people, and it breaks my heart. I heard several comments while on the trip. Here are a few...

"That fat b*tch should be grateful, after all, I just paid off her credit card."

"She is a big one." (Commenting on the size of a female flight attendant.)

"Some people should just be sent away and forced to diet."

What gives these people the right? For oh so long, I have given people this right. I'm sick of this game. It is time people be treated fairly regardless of their size.

Back

I just got in from my mini-vacation. So much to write and share, but I have to be up in a matter of hours. Gotta get some rest. I'll update tomorrow night.

What a GREAT Day!!!

I was going to post a few other pictures, but blogger is taking forever to load for some reason. My day started off most excellent at 6:30 this morning when my beloved called to tell me that he had been standing outside the entire night waiting for WICKED tickets to go on sale. He had the first spot in line for when the box office opened at 8:00. :) Wow...did I feel loved!

I had a great day with my students. I had my conference about my job evaluation today, and things went extremely well. He seems very pleased with my performance. He even said he saw me teaching methods courses for the University of Louisville as part of our signature partnership. That was a real blessing to me. I am trying hard, and I want to do well.

After work, Ben and I went to get our pumpkin. We had some chinese, watched Luther while he carved the pumpkin. Then we went walking down this street in town where almost everyone decorates big time for Halloween. The picture above was the two of us in front of the Charlie Brown theme house. It was my personal favorite. Ben showered me with compliments about how beautiful I am, and how skinny I am.

I have not gone to bed, and I'm getting ready for Seattle. I am so excited to be going out of town for a few short days. I'm going to allow myself some complex carbs, but I am not going to have candy this weekend. The slope is way too slippery.