The Post I Didn't Want to Write

I've tried to write this post several times. 

I just couldn't. 

Things are really not looking that good for my BIL.  It has been 63 days since the accident. He has MRSA, phenomena (that has been ongoing), and meningitis.  My sister told my mom the other night that she knew she couldn't let him go on forever like this and that she knew at some point she would have to make some decisions.  She also acknowledged that by the rigid position of his arms that is a sign of severe brain damage.  The kids mother wants them to see him, and she told me she said to her, "Do you want their last memories of their father to be with tubes running out of him and him being unresponsive?"  Her status messages on facebook have started to shift.  Up until about a week ago, she talked about how proud she was of her husband and what a fighter he was.  Now they are factual about how his day has been, but have been more thanking specific people around her that have been very supportive.  The hospital he is going to is for pallative care, which is essentially a holding house to die. 

I guess my biggest prayer now is that one of his many complications will take his life if he must die.  I would much rather it be that way, than for my sister to have to sign the papers saying to stop all medications, food, and fluids.

My mom has held it together in front of my sister until today.  She cried in front of her.  She balled while my sister was asleep and HH and I were visiting with her in the waiting room.  The one doctor we all hate was really a butt to my mom and sister today, and it was more than mom could take.

Way To Go Utah! (NOT!)

Utah schools lead nation in access to junk food

The AP (6/6) reports, "Utah schools give teens more access to unhealthy foods and drinks than anywhere else in the country," according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which noted that "86 percent of Utah schools allow students to buy soda, compared to the national average of 63 percent." Additionally, "[e]ighty-three percent of Utah schools offered chocolate candy in 2006, compared to the national average of 40 percent." The AP explains, "Instead of ordering a ban, the state school board last year said schools could prohibit unhealthy food or drinks."

The Salt Lake Tribune (6/5) added that, overall, "Utah has the most schools that allow the sale of unhealthy foods and drinks during lunch -- 81 percent versus 35 percent for the national median." However, soft drink companies "have voluntarily agreed to remove sodas from elementary and middle schools and sell diet sodas in high schools" by the 2009-10 school year, and "the results also showed" that currently, "Utah schools do a better-than-average job of offering healthy drinks, such as low-fat milk and bottled water." But while state policy "encourages healthy environments" through guidelines, officials say that "few schools are willing to cut out junk completely, often citing the needed revenue."

Today

I went to the viewing for my former student at the funeral home. It was quite difficult. I got to see several of my former students who were classmates of Tessa. I had mentally prepared myself that because of the manner of death, that it would be a closed casket, but it was not. That was hard.