The Post I Didn't Want to Write

I've tried to write this post several times. 

I just couldn't. 

Things are really not looking that good for my BIL.  It has been 63 days since the accident. He has MRSA, phenomena (that has been ongoing), and meningitis.  My sister told my mom the other night that she knew she couldn't let him go on forever like this and that she knew at some point she would have to make some decisions.  She also acknowledged that by the rigid position of his arms that is a sign of severe brain damage.  The kids mother wants them to see him, and she told me she said to her, "Do you want their last memories of their father to be with tubes running out of him and him being unresponsive?"  Her status messages on facebook have started to shift.  Up until about a week ago, she talked about how proud she was of her husband and what a fighter he was.  Now they are factual about how his day has been, but have been more thanking specific people around her that have been very supportive.  The hospital he is going to is for pallative care, which is essentially a holding house to die. 

I guess my biggest prayer now is that one of his many complications will take his life if he must die.  I would much rather it be that way, than for my sister to have to sign the papers saying to stop all medications, food, and fluids.

My mom has held it together in front of my sister until today.  She cried in front of her.  She balled while my sister was asleep and HH and I were visiting with her in the waiting room.  The one doctor we all hate was really a butt to my mom and sister today, and it was more than mom could take.