Songs I Love to Sing LOUD: Part II

Songs I Love to Sing LOUD: Part I

What Is a Wilder Ride Than My Emotions?

You got it....a bull ride. About anything else I can top. WITH. EASE. We had our Halloween party yesterday at school, and that went well. HH came in and brought the spider cupcakes, we had ghetto fabulous Annie's pizza, and watched a movie. What disturbed me happened after lunch.

Haley comes up to me, "Mrs. F, I need to talk with you." I tell her that we can talk, but it will be a few minutes, because I need to get some things settled, etc. She says ok. I'm prepared for many things that the kids say, after nine years, but surprise came with this one.

"Nyelah and Tyevon were talking about whether or not you were pregnant." YEAH. I was hit like a landslide with this one. I wasn't expecting it at all. I thanked her, and tried to regain my composure. I do have a pudge in my front, that is NOT going away unless there is plastic surgery. I don't suck it in all day, so I'm certain that at times it looks worse than others throughout the day. Even though the comment was from an eleven year old, it still hurt. I dealt with the issue, and all is well for the kids involved.

HH and I went in costume to our friends Alex and Rachel's house. We had great food, conversation, and played a cool nintendo type game called "Buzz." On the way home, I told Ben that I had pretty much hit an emotional low. I told him about the whole story.

One of the biggest things running through my brain was how in the world are they wondering if their teachers are pregnant in the fifth grade? I don't even think that thought crossed my mind until I was at least in high school. HH simply explained that by saying that in their world pregnancy is so common, they almost come to expect it. If someone puts on a little bit of weight, that is the natural conclusion. Amidst all the tears, that explanation did make sense to me.

I said a lot of things last night, and realized that the pain I have from being so fat goes back very deep. One thing I said was, "I feel more like a freak now, than I did as a four hundred pound person." "In my quest to become normal, I find that normal becomes more and more elusive." HH really soothed my soul with his words.

I now own two pairs of Not Your Daughter's Jeans. One is a size 4, the other is a size 8. I did a comparison of them last night, and they are the EXACT same size. The cut is not even different. Women's clothing companies suck.

Off to do my last GED Saturday class!

Survivors and Thrivers

Ok, the first two pictures are randoms I have taken of my students. The first picture is of Tenneal....he is awesome. He actually did this pose earlier, and I had him to reenact it for the camera.

Donya and I:

Ben and I smiling after serving hundreds of hot dogs and bowls of chili:

Nyelah and I:

Andre and I....he about sacked me when he saw me. This is a former student from last year.

I am feeling better, but I could not have come to work today if I had taught the young kiddos. I took it easier on myself, and had the students do a bit more independent work so I could recover some.

HH is making my spider cupcakes. He is coming to our party tomorrow, bless his heart!

My dad asked me to have Christmas at my condo.....um, no, was my first thought. I despise loaded questions, which was exactly what it was. My brother can't do it because they have sold their home, and are living with the inlaws. My dad and mom have been doing a lot of remodeling at their home, so that is out. My sister really is the best choice because of the amount of space that she has. I called her, and asked her if she would have it at her place. I told her I would make as many dishes as she wants, just please hold the dinner there! Thankfully, she agreed.

Update

Ben took me to the ER around 8:00 this morning. After running blood work and a urine test, they said I had a stomach bug and was dehydrated. I got two liters of fluids, and some demoral for pain. Man that demoral was some strong stuff. Within a minute of that being in my IV, I was already starting to feel sleepy. I am so glad I was able to get some sleep. I didn't sleep very well at all last night, even over my stomach cramping, what really bothered me was the acid reflux. I am so thankful that I don't have that problem on a regular basis.

I am missing my cooking class tonight which makes me SAD. I need the rest. Fall Festival is tomorrow.

Sweetest HH

I am not feeling well....I am having a repeat of my my bridal shower party episode. This is on a smaller scale than what happened that day, but the symptoms are exactly the same. My stomach is really tight, spasming back and forth. I can't keep anything down. I threw up in my classroom today (three times, which was pretty much my entire lunch: 1/3 of a mini pizza). After school, I had to pull over a few blocks from school, and I threw up 6-8 ounces of brownish bile.

HH is out getting me two milkshakes, I wasn't sure which one would taste better, so I had him get me a chocolate and an orange one. He went out earlier to get me Moe's, but I was only able to eat about 10 chips, and a little bit of queso (that came up too). I love my husband. He is so sweet.

We'll see about going to the ER.....I am already taking off tomorrow, but it is booked solid: book fair at my old school (and getting to see my best friend), dentist for the next leg of the crown work to be done, chiropractor, nap, see my friend Mandi, and cooking class.

Today, I was talking with the attendance clerk about my plastic surgery consult. She said that I was very skinny for my height, and I didn't need to lose any more weight. She told me what she weighed, and it blows my mind how close we are in weight!!! I still have a hard time seeing myself as thin.

A Few More Photos

I expressed my deep disappointment yesterday that the Turtle Soup Festival had RUN OUT OF TURTLE SOUP!!! Major bummer.



I forgot I had bought this dress at the beginning of the school year. I think it looks really good. I had Beth take our picture after church. I think one of these will be used on our photo Christmas card this year.

From Post Secret

So Today It Starts....

After church, I start WRITING. I've read a bunch for National Boards, I've attended meeting after meeting, but now it is time to WRITE. The first few steps are the hardest right? After church, I'm camping out somewhere with the laptop, some books, and ready to write. Joy!

Can't Sleep

Yesterday was a good day. I got to have lunch with Kristin downtown, and spending time with her is always something that makes me feel refreshed.

Last night Ben and I went to Murder Mystery Theater. This is the third one of these we have gone to. The first time we went was for Ben's birthday You have dinner and solve the mystery. I took a picture of Ben holding his clue card, because he always figures out things like that. You can tell that he pays much more attention to details that myself.

.

Today is the last day of my weekend. I've got to teach GED, and if HH feels well, we are going to the Turtle Soup Festival. On Sunday after church, I am going to camp out at Starbucks/Panera and work on National Boards.

Fun Day....

Ben and I at Red Lobster!

With my dad!

Ben getting ready to try a clove of garlic:

Ben pondering life as he chews up the garlic:

Pear Apples, or as HH called them "Papples":

I had my head in Ben's lap to capture this picture of him eating a Papple.

Kiwiberries: YUMMY!!!

How do you spell love: Three pounds of garlic cloves!!! Now, I don't have to do the hard work for fresh garlic!

My new kicks!

New top!

I debated this skirt, but in the end I really liked it.

Top that goes with the skirt:

Good things come in three: I loved how these pants feel. I've been getting slack at work and wearing jeans. I did so well for the first eight weeks of school, but I have way backed down.

Homemade Pizza on the menu for tonight!!!

$11,203

This morning I had my plastic surgery consult. It went really well. I feel really good about the facility, the physician, and the pain management. I was pleasantly surprised by the price. I was honestly thinking $15,000 for my Brachioplasty and Thigh Lift.

The thigh lift would be three different cuts because of the amount of excess skin I have. My goal is to get the biggest bang for my buck in one time under the knife. He said my arms were perfect because I essentially have a flap of skin with no fat in it, and he would just have to cut the flap off to contour it. I was impressed with how the scars on my arms would not be seen unless I raise my arms straight up. The surgery should be about 4.5 hours for both procedures, with most of that time being spent on my thighs. I asked him just for kicks how much he thought he would be removing poundage wise. He said for my arms combined probably one pound, and for my thighs probably three pounds on each thigh. Although I still obsess over the number on the scale from a not ever wanting to weigh 393 pounds again, I am in general just curious how much excess skin I actually have. The recovery would be around two weeks, although I would be wearing bandage/restriction garments for four weeks. The nurse mentioned this would not be two weeks were I would be "bed bound" or anything of that nature. When you have your thighs done, walking frequently is important so clots don't occur.

Now is the waiting game. I am hopeful that these procedures can be done at the beginning of next summer. It will come down to whether or not Ben has received his trust by then. If not, we will have to postpone it.

In thinking about the cost of the DS and the plastic surgeries, I need to remember as my friends start to get fancier cars or take big trips, that I am literally walking around in what would be my fancy car or big European vacation. I'm not going to complain because being able to have life in my years is important....I spent way too much time on the sidelines.

Do Not Cross....

Last night we were a block from school, and passed four police cars. As we left the school, we passed four more police cars. I also noticed a helicopter with a search light on. Turns out, the police were right in the middle of a foot chase for a murder that just took place. This was at 7:45 pm! Wonder why I don't stay in the neighborhood I work in at night.

Awards Ceremony....

Sorry for the poor photography, but here was a copy of the program where our school was honored by a local university.

Here I am with some of our FABULOUS teachers, and our principal. I really respect him. He insisted that we all come up to accept the award together, even though they just called his name. I feel normal here, like I don't stand out weight wise.

Last night I came home to this adorable face. He had made me another batch of trash, and left a bit of evidence on his face.

Ok, so these glasses look really tattered. This is an important part of my family history to me. These aluminum glasses belonged to my grandfather. I have fond memories of the two of us having a cold drink from them as I grew up. I thought that my grandmother had given them to my cousin Kris, but when I asked her about them, she said no one had expressed interest in them. I quickly asked for them. :)

The switch happened today, and have the two new students from the other classroom. It wasn't bad.

It's That Time of the Year....

We have a place in our building called "the bridge." It bridges the older and newer parts of the building together, and I walk through this area with my students at least four times a day. Every time without fail during the cold months this happens: some boy thinks is a great idea to PEE IN THE RADIATOR, and the bridge smells something awful. Yeah, tis the season.

In other work news: I am officially getting two more bad kids from another fifth grade teacher. This makes a total of THREE kids that have been removed from her room. What makes things even better? She is going to make more money than me, and will be teaching TEN children. Well isn't that precious? (Sorry for the bitter post, I know I'll get over it, but I get tired of always getting the rough kids each year, just because I can handle it. Principals often forget just how much WORK goes into "handling" these kids.)

Yeah for tomorrow night being a night that I can cook! My work week is 1/3 over. :)

The Weekend

This was the casserole that tasted like BUTT, ok not that bad, but it was a hot soupy mess.



This was on the back of my Cheeto's bag....are you kidding me? Thirteen puffs? I can have that in four bites.

So I had to take a picture of this.....this gas station DIDN'T have pay at the pump. Are you kidding me?

The front of the church....the parsonage picture didn't turn out well at all. :(

Ben hamming it up for the camera prior to the service.

This is the inside of the church Ben preached at today.

After GED Saturday, I came back and packed up, and Ben and I headed out to Central City, KY. We wanted to find the church and time ourselves, so we wouldn't be late on Sunday morning. We got to my grandmother's house about 9:00pm, and left way too early in the morning. This was our first experience with a Pastor Search Committee, and it turned out really positive.

The people were super nice, and they really took a shine to HH. Afterwards, we went to a really nice restaurant, where they informally asked Ben some questions. We got a very good vibe about the church. They will be in contact with us soon.

Yeah to a three day work week!!!

Jessica Simpson Burger King Commercial

Give the poor girl a break!!!!

Friday

I'm so glad the weekend is here! :) This weekend is actually going to be pretty full, but I only have a three day work week next week, since I am taking off next Thursday and Friday.

Last night's dinner was NOT SO HOT. My loving HH said, "You can't have a homerun every night sweetheart." Nice comforting words, but still....the recipe called for three cans of evaporated milk, and bottom line, the casserole was too soupy. We ate it, and didn't call for Pizza Hut, but forget having any of that for leftovers. Looks can be deceiving....I took a picture of it, and it looks so pretty, but taste wise, nooooooo.

I have a new love in my life: GRAPES. Grapes went away for the longest of times because of how they made my stomach feel. After having WLS, when I tried anything with natural sugars, it torn my stomach up. I felt miserable. Ironically, I could have a Hershey's bar, and feel great....but not strawberries, etc. Even six months ago, I had a few grapes and experienced a bad reaction. For whatever reason, my stomach has decided that it will now tolerate grapes, and I've eaten a ton of them this week.

Im getting older....how can I tell? It is the little things.....We are meeting some friends for dinner at 8:00 tonight, and I decide that I'm going to come home and take a nap before going out.

A Dessert Kind Of Day....

Since my cooking class got cancelled (low enrollment for that particular class), I decided that I would stop by the bakery. This bakery is ran by culinary students, and I've wanted to stop for some time, just never did. I bought several dessert type items to try. I don't feel bad about eating them because they were not big at all. Here are some samples of my eats...

This I bought at a different store while picking up a few items to make dinner. I got this on recommendation of our school secretary. Since I had several sweets today, I won't be eating this for a few days.

While at the speciality store, I also got arugula. I have never used it in a recipe, so I am interested to see the taste it brings out. I bought garlic already made because I wasn't in the mood to do fresh garlic tonight.

I bought Rachel Ray's garbage bowl. I know I am such a dork.

I am really into cooking magazines over cookbooks. I like the cheaper price, and the variety that they seem to have. I tear out the recipes I like, and am in the process of making my "own" cookbook from the recipes I like.

For Dinner Tonight:

Garlicky Spaghetti with Beans and Greens

Ingredients:

8 ounces uncooked spaghetti

3/4 teaspoon kosher salt, divided

3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

2 tablespoons minced garlic

1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper

2 cups grape tomatoes, halved

1 (16 ounce) can cannellini beans or other white beans, rinsed and drained

5 ounces arugula leaves

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1/2 cup (2 ounces) grated Parmesan cheese

1. Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain pasta in a colander over a bowl, reserving 1/2 cup of pasta water. Place pasta in a small bowl. Add 1/4 teaspoon salt, tossing gently. Set aside, and keep warm.

2. Return pan o medium heat. Add oil, garlic, and pepper; cook 2 minutes or until garlic is lightly browned, stirring occasionally. Stir in remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt, tomatoes, and beans; cook 2 minutes. Add pasta; cook 4 minutes, stirring frequently. Add reserve pasta water and arugula, tossing gently to combine. Remove from heat. Stir in lemon juice and cheese. Serve immediately. (Makings 6 servings.)

So I Have Odd Tastes.....

HH asks last night, "So why is it that we don't watch anything normal from Netflix?" :) Today to prove his point, he looked through my Netflix que of over 100 items. There were 12 items that he had heard of. What can I say, I like that Netflix caters to my eclectic tastes. Right now, I am watching Forgiving Dr. Mengele online.

Dentist appointment: DONE. Chiropractic appointment: DONE. Just a B12 shot appointment remaining.

My New Goal.....

As you know, I love taking pictures of people who are weird....

My goal is now to get a photo posted to this website:

People of Wal-Mart

I have been laughing for about thirty minutes straight!

Dinner tonight......
I used Panko Bread Crumbs (Japanese Bread Crumbs), and I love the texture that they have.

Look What Arrived in the Mail Today....

MY NEW PASSPORT!!!

HH and I are watching Swing Vote. Tomorrow I have off, even though I have doctor's appointments, it is still nice to have a change of pace.