Probiotics Anyone?

I have not taken any probiotics as a post-op. I have not really felt the need to do so. I have decided to start taking them as of today.

Here are a few of the health effects of taking probiotics:

Allergy
Cancer
Diarrhea
Elevated Blood Cholesterol
Helicobacter pylori
Hypertension
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Inflammatory Bowel Disease
Immune System Modulation
Kidney Stones
Lactose Intolerance
Necrotizing Enterocolitis
Oral Health
Small Bowel Bacterial Overgrowth
Staying Healthy
Vaginosis

That is a WHOLE lot of health benefits. I figure it can't hurt. At this point, how could two more pills a day hurt me?

Also, a few bariatric doctors are starting to make it a requirement of their WLS patients.

What type of probiotic am I taking?

Solaray Multidophilus 12

"Over 20 BILLION Microorganisms, 12 Probiotic Strains"

Must be refrigerated. Thanks Vicki for telling me about these!

Movie PRIDE

This movie was EXCELLENT!!! This is about a coach Jim Ellis, who started a swim team in an inner-city Philadelphia neighborhood. He has coached at that rec center for 35 years. He has had over 100 kids go on to receive swimming scholarships, and even has had kids qualify for the Olympic trials. VERY moving!

Energy Level!

Today I worked at my new school. I know my energy level has increased dramatically since surgery, but there are days when I can REALLY tell the difference. I made about 15 trips out to my car to carry in stuff. Several people asked if I wanted help, and I thanked them but said no. I was THRILLED that I could do it myself. I spent two hours cleaning out junk from the classroom, and would have worked much longer, but the janitor really needed to start the heavy duty cleaning on my room.

I came home and did a bunch of work as well. I am so happy that I have ENERGY!!!

What a Difference 14 months makes!!!

End of December 2006...It is time to move all my stuff out of my classroom, because I am starting a new job in January. My dad and cousin are there to help. I was so fat, out of shape, and miserable....I could barely help with anything. Seriously, it took every bit of strength that I had to get boxes to the top of the stairs. There was no way I could have carried them up and down the steps. My dad was 58 years old at the time, and in WAY better health that I was. I felt trapped, helpless.

May 2008...I made at least ten trips to my car tonight loading it up. I am going to my new school tomorrow to start unloading things. I went up and down the steps like it was nothing. I didn't even break a sweat. I am going to work on getting rid of stuff from the previous teacher tomorrow. On June 23rd, I will be doing the big move, and I'm not worried about it at all. I'm actually going to be a HELP instead of being in the way this time. Yes, I will be tired at the end, but not exhausted and needing a week to recoop tired. I am so thankful for having my health back.

My new boss really is awesome. I have never met someone who made me feel so valued and appreciated. He has already sat down several times (including today) to have conversations with me. I really like that a lot.

GED Course Update

All eight of my students certified to test last night!!! I am so happy. I really enjoy helping people get their GED, and moving onto more rewarding experiences in life.

While I was at the library for GED last night, I saw one of my former students. I took a minute to really make sure I knew it was him. I walk up to him and say, "Hi Nick." I asked if he knew who I was, and replied no. Once I told him, he was amazed at how much weight I had lost. :) It was really cool to see him. He is a kid I had always a special spot in my heart for, and it was nice to know he is doing well.

Today is my last day of work. Yesterday, my boss and co-worker gave me a nice gift certificate to the mall to buy a "first day of school" outfit. I will really miss them. I truly am ready to go back to the classroom. My new principal called me yesterday afternoon, but I missed his call. I am going to stop by there today and talk with him. He is such a visionary. I will really enjoy working under him.

My weight bounced up a few pounds, which drives me batty. Yesterday, I ate like there was no tomorrow, and I am back down eight tenths of a pound. I really really don't understand the DS sometimes. I am thankful, but it is hard to be logical with it!

I also have an appointment at the end of June with a new PCP. My cousin is high up in a local health care organization, and I asked her for the best doctors in reading labs and following levels from bloodwork. My PCP has been great, but I really need someone who can spend some time with me dealing with the "fine print" from this point forward. I'll keep you posted.

I am running. I know I promised to share more. It is not easy, but I am doing it. :)

Interesting News Blurb...

This was from our local paper, The Courier Journal.

Sure, every woman wants to look and feel her best on her wedding day.

But how far are femmes willing to go?

According to a poll of 1,000 women conducted by Fitness magazine, 1 in 5 brides to be said they'd postpone their nupitals if they didn't hit their goal weight by their wedding day.

And nearly one-third of these women said they'd be willing to move in with their mothers-in-law if it meant reaching their ideal weight.

Interestingly 63 percent said their fiances, "love my body exactly as it is." But the body-love isn't mutual. Only 47 percent of engaged women said the same thing about their main man.

Pressing Forward....

"I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be."

It gets tougher on some days being so far out to follow the rules and really work my DS. The magic is gone of every day stepping on the scale and seeing the number go down. (I can say it still does go down every week.) The statement above is not one of complacency, but thankfulness. I know I have a ways to go, but thank heavens I am not where I once was!

Things now come down to resolve. Each day I must resolve to make the best choices to continue moving in the right direction. My next goal is not a number on the scale, but as I spoke of in a previous blog....I want to be able to where a pair of size 10 dress pants to work on August 11th (the first day back to school). The smallest size I ever wore while teaching was a 28. This would be a huge accomplishment for me.

Well time to get ready for work. I have my Dexa Scan today. Fun times!

From our KADS Meeting

Fat Jeans verses Current Jeans...

Sorry for the blurry image. On the bottom are my fattest pants, the pants I wore down to have surgery. On top are the pants I am currently in. WOW! WOW! WOW!

Randomness

I forgot to mention a conversation I had with my dad at the Skydiving Center. He wanted to buy me a t-shirt saying I had went skydiving. He asked me what size I needed, I told him a medium. He said these shirts are 100% cotton, and are going to shrink. I just smiled at him and said, "I still need a medium." :) Good times.

Tonight I went shopping. My jeans are starting to get real saggy in the butt. I have gone to the straight jean (yellow 2) at Lane Bryant. It was so fun when the lady sized me up. She said, you are so small. You have such a tiny waist. I hope we have something to fit you. I only have ONE more size I can go down there. My days of Lane Bryant shopping are FINALLY over. What FREEDOM!!!!

I also bought ten cute pairs of underwear from Victoria's Secret. This is the first underwear I've purchased from them. I feel so normal. No one looked at me funny for being in there or anything! How cool is that. I also bought some great smelling sprays. :)

I have my bone density (Dexa Scan) tomorrow. I could not take any vitamins/supplements 24 hours prior. I cannot begin to tell you how WEIRD it feels not taking my vits, after being so religious about them.

14 Months Post Op

Today I am 14 months post op. Wow, how time flies! I weighed in at 175 this morning. That puts me at a ten pound loss for this month. This also puts me at my PCP's goal for weight loss. 175 was where she said she would be delighted if I reached that. It is awesome that I reached that, but I certainly want to SURPASS her goal! Let's keep on losing!!!! :)

The Stats:

• I have lost 34.2 points off my BMI.
• With my BMI currently at 27.4, I am halfway to the normal range.
• I have went down 13 pants sizes from 36W to size 12.
• I have lost 55.5% of my total body weight from the day of surgery.
• I have lost 89.7% of my excess body weight.

There are so many things about my weight loss that cannot go into the stat box. How much more energy I have, how great it feels to look normal, to be able to shop for clothes almost anywhere, etc. Those things are so priceless to me. I am still most thrilled that I went skydiving two days ago...talk about breaking boundaries!

I am not going to post a new picture, since I just put up a few skydiving ones the other day. I am certain I have not changed much since then. I will post more skydiving photos as they come in.

From Post Secret

Heartwarming message huh?

Jacking Up the Calcium Supplementation

There has been quite a bit of conversation going back and forth on our DS forum at OH, talking about Calcium Citrate. I'm not an expert on vitamins, but there are a few people on the forum (Vitalady especially) who are. The talk is centered around elemental calcium, and how most likely we are not getting what we truly need, especially when you take into account the malabsorption component.

I am doubling my calcium citrate consumption to 6000 mg a day. I am going to be popping calcium all day long. I think one of my biggest things I need to consider as far as my decision to do this is my age. I am 28 (almost 29) years old. I have a long (and happy) lifetime of malabsorption ahead of me. I do not want to take any risk of not getting enough calcium, and trading in a healthy body for a problem ridden one that could have easily been prevented had I just boosted my supplementation.

A Very Nice Compliment

I emailed my best friend telling her all about my skydiving experience. (Basically, exactly what I had written in this blog.) She listens any time I talk about my weight loss, but is very cautious about bringing it up herself. She knows this whole process has been big thing for me, and hard to explain. She made such a sweet compliment to me. She said she attributes my success to, "1% surgery and 99% my hard work."

Hearing this from her made me feel so good. (You know how some people can make comments to you, and they mean nothing, but from people you respect they mean the world?) WLS is no magic bullet. You have to live with this surgery every single day for the rest of your life. You have to make good choices the majority of the time to see the results you want (especially to KEEP those results in the long term.)

On Friday, I also got invited to go to a Bible study with a lady from church. It was so sweet because we really only get to have some casual conversations, because of of jobs. I am looking forward to getting to know her better over the summer. :)

Now that I have accomplished skydiving, I am so much more determined to complete these 5K races.

A Few Pictures....SKYDIVING!

Talking with the videographer, waiting to go up. He always skydives without his shoes!



Boarding the plane!!! Next destination: 14,000 feet!!!





Here we are in the air!!!

Larry and I walking back from the landing sight!

Coming back with a SMILE on my face!

Here I am with my instructor/tandem jumper! Larry is so awesome!

Mission Accomplished: I Went Skydiving!!!

This morning I met my sister at 6:15 to ride to meet my parents. We all rode went together, so they could watch me skydive. We got to the Skydiving Place about 7:45. At 8:00, I started filling out the paperwork. WOW, the paperwork. I had to initial and sign more places than you could imagine. It was almost as long as my home mortgage paperwork!

They showed me a video which went into detail about possible skydiving injuries, and how I could not sue them, etc. The atmosphere was completely laid back, and they people were a lot of fun. They made different jokes like, "If you keep your eyes closed the parachute won't open."

When I asked who would be my tandem jumper, they said, "Oh, he is out back sobering up." Larry was the coolest guy. He really has a passion for what he does. I was his 2550th tandem jump. He really kept talking with me, and kept me at ease the whole time.

Here was one of the coolest things: Nobody thought I was weird. I was not out of place. They didn't look at me and go, "Like Heck you can go skydiving being the size of an elephant." I was normal to them. The harnesses that went around my upper thighs not only fit, there was room to spare. My instructor lifted me up THREE times off the ground to make sure they were really tight. (I freaked out, a man was able to lift me. This has never happened in my adult life.)

At 10:15, it was time to board the plane. The plane would take us up to 14,000, and we would be falling at approximately 120 miles per hour. Everyone else was was experienced jumpers. I was the only tandem first time jumper. I had decided to get my trip videoed as well.

Then it was my turn: I am at the cargo door on my knees, and the wind is blowing about 100 mph. I was so scared. (Up until this point, I had not been scared, but very excited.) I kept putting my hands on the door to hold myself in. Larry kept crossing them over me. He did this three times, and on the third time, we left!

The freefall was AMAZING!!!! I have never felt anything like it before. The cameraman was very goofy, and I was smiling at him almost the entire time. Then the parachute opened up, and that was a relief. At that point, I was able to navigate (with Larry's help) the parachute. We did some sharp curves and made some corkscrew formations in the sky.

The landing was very easy. I would skydive again in a HEARTBEAT!!! What a freeing experience it was to not have my weight be a hinderance to me in this venture. Today was so different, I felt like I had truly physically let go of 216.6 pounds.

I should have the DVD in a few weeks. I am compiling pictures, but they are coming from three different digital cameras, so I will post those when I get them finished.

BLUE SKIES!!!

Tired

I got to have dinner with my boss and co-worker tonight. I got them both gifts. They really have meant the world to me, especially in being encouraging throughout my weight loss process. I will dearly miss these ladies.

I called my brother tonight, and he frustrated me. I was trying to be helpful to him in the job hunting process, and he completely blew me off. I may not know everything, but I would think that seven years in the work world might count for something.

I am going to go to bed. I get up super early in the morning to jump. Seeing as that is so, I thought the picture/quote below was appropriate.

Quote

"When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.' " -Erma Bombeck

The First Comment Started...

Last night my dad said it. He said, "Don't you think it is about time to stop losing weight. You don't want to get too skinny." I am sure he is using the fact that I am very close to my sister in size as a measurement guage.

I have heard from many people on OH that family are usually first people to start with these comments. One girl said that she thinks it is because they are not used to seeing you at such a normal weight, they begin to think you are getting too thin.

The truth is that I am your average "fat" girl in America. There are many girls who are my size. So many in fact, we look normal. (I am one size below the average clothing size in America.) I am still overweight, and I still need to easily lose 27-42 more pounds to be in my normal weight range.

There is the "bounceback" weight as well. Typically, DSers gain about 10 pounds back from their all time lowest weight. Hopefully, I will be able to control this by watching my carb intake, but I still want to take this into account while setting/reaching my goal weight.

I WILL REACH MY GOAL WEIGHT!!!

The Jump That Almost Wasn't

I get a call this afternoon at 5:30 saying my skydiving jump for Saturday is CANCELLED. I am truly bummed because this is something I have been wanting to do for so long. My dad suggested that I call around and see if anywhere else would let me go on Saturday. I thought for certain that would be a big NEGATIVE, as it is a holiday weekend. Turns out a place about 45 minutes from my house had an opening for Saturday morning at 8 am! It was their only opening left.

BLUE SKIES BABY! I'm going skydiving! WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Did all it take was complaining?

So I complain about my weight last night, and this morning I am down two pounds. That puts me at an eight pound loss for the month. I currently weigh 177 pounds. Had I known all it took was complaining, I would have done so a lot sooner. Ha Ha!

I like it when my body cooperates with me. I eat the right things for my DS diet, and I see a change on the scale. However, my body (as all bodies) can be fickle. That is when it gets tough...when you are doing all the right things, and the result is not on the scale. The number on the scale matters, and always will. I never, ever want to go back to what I was.

Two more days, and I am skydiving. I am nervous, but I want to do this.

Today

I got to go to the school I will be teaching at next year. We were dividing out students. My class has 17 kids as of now. (The principal promised to cap the class at 22.) I have NEVER had a class so small. The classes I am used to teaching have 28 to 30 kids. I know these are super needy kids, but I am so thrilled thinking about the possibilities we will have to progress with such small numbers. (For those who are not in education, those numbers are almost private school numbers.)

I have one more GED class next Wednesday. This group has been so awesome. I think they are all set to pass. :)

I got to catch up with an old friend/roommate from college tonight.

In other news, the scale can move DOWN any day now. Really, I've enjoyed hanging out at 179, but I am ready to see new numbers. I have easily cut my carb intake by 50%, so the results on the scale should be coming soon. I realize though that every time I make goals like these, my body has completely different plans.

One cool thing I did realize today ... I am 20 pounds from a normal BMI! Technically, if I lost those 20 pounds, I would be at the high end of the "normal weight" range. It really explains why clothes are getting harder to find, because there are a lot of people that wear my size. I am truly starting to slowly realize that I don't stand out horribly weight wise.

Excited!

I'm going to help serve lunch to the homeless with Sojourn church on May 31st. I did this as a teenager, but I wonder how the experience will differ as an adult. Undoubtably, I know I will gain more from this experience than I will give.

Things I Like Verses Things That I Love...

1. I like Dairy Queen Blizzards with extra Reese Cup's and extra Oreo ... but I love hearing my doctor say that I am in excellent health.

2. I like the ease of pulling into a drive-thru and getting a meal ... but I love being able to wear a size 12 clothes (and shop at almost any store).

3. I like to eat chips and bread ... but I love being able to get on the scale and not freak out by the numbers that I see.

4. I like pretty much any type of dessert ... but I love being able to wear a size medium top, and for people to actually see that I have a waist.

5. I like cookie cakes and funnel cakes ... but I love not being the fattest girl in the room anymore.

Pasta Queen talks about how she spent the majority of her life ignoring everything that involved her health and fitness. That got her up to 372 pounds. I can really relate, ignoring my health and fitness got me to 393 pounds. While I have had a great WLS (the DS), that does not mean I cannot fail. While I can occasionally have some of the above "likes," I cannot have whatever I wish.

While I do like some of the things I mentioned above, new priorities have set in. It feels good not to be so sluggish and tired. I love taking something to the dressing room thinking that it won't fit, and it does with room to spare. Perhaps the old agage is true, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

More about Me

What were you doing five years ago?

I was working on finishing up my Master's Degree at Indiana University Southeast. I was also teaching and being a nanny. Life was very hectic. I lived with a roommate at that time.

What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order)?

1. Vote
2. Go to the doctor
3. Go by and do some work at the school I will be at next year
4. Read some professional books
5. Go to a training this evening

What are five snacks you enjoy?

1. Pepporoni Chips
2. Beef Jerky
3. Peanuts (Honey Roasted!)
4. Cheese
5. Ricotta Fluff (Strawberry Banana Flavored)

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?


1. Fund many Christian organizations
2. Donate to Room to Read (organization founded by John Wood)
3. Keep right on teaching in a high poverty school
4. Make sure that kids have access to books at homes and in hospitals
5. Help family and friends out

What are five of your bad habits?

1. Not wanting to ever do the dishes or vacuum (I do, but never wanting to do those)
2. Not seeing my parents as often as I should
3. Sending things in too early
4. Not being as careful of a driver as I should
5. Obsessed with lip gloss

What are five places where you have lived?

1. Bardstown, KY
2. Morehead, KY
3. San Antonio, TX
4. Savannah, GA
5. Louisville, KY

What are five jobs you’ve had?

1. Little Caesar's Pizza
2. Nanny/Babysitter
3. GED Instructor
4. Literacy Specialist
5. Teacher :) :) :)

Backing Off On the Carbs...

Specially I mean by beloved "Bob Evans Sausage Chili." Man, I LOVE this stuff. DS wise, it is not horrible for me, but it is completely where a ton of my carbs for each day are coming from. I know I can make the adjustment, it will just take a few days. I want to make the most of my weight loss window.

Today is election day, so no work. I'm going to vote, then get a request from my doctor for a bone density scan. I will be interested to see how much I have lost since the last time I went to see her. That has been one really amazing thing since having the DS. Every single time I have gone to the doctor in the last 14 months (and I have gone quite a bit for DS follow up) I have lost weight. That is simply amazing! That has never happened to me. Quite often it was the opposite trend, every single time I went to the doctor I went up a few pounds.

Enjoy the day!

From Post Secret

Perhaps a Bit Vain, but Off The Sidelines

This post may come off a little bit vain, or even self serving. I don't really mean for it to, but here are some thoughts that I had last night at my mom's retirement party. There were probably 150 people there. Many of these people have known my family since we were small children. At least ten times, I was called by my sister's name, "Amber." Then of course when I corrected them, they were astonished that it was me.

For all the years growing up, I was the smart sister. (Not saying my sister is dumb!) Smart was the adjective used to describe me, because certainly pretty couldn't be used. I was huge, and if anything I got the tradmark fat comment, "You have such a pretty face." (*insert eyeroll here*)

Last night was different. For once, I felt that I was in the same league as my sister goes. People complimented me on how nice I looked. They said how pretty I was. It was nice hearing a different adjective associated with my name.

I don't want to say that I lived in my sister's shadow, because that wasn't really true. I am five years older than she is. I lived through her on some things I never got to experience in high school such as having a prom date, having a steady boyfriend, wearing cute clothes, etc. These were not experiences I had. I was on the sidelines.

It feels nice to almost be on an equal playing field with her.

Mom's Retirement Party....

Very Mary Cassatt! Mallory and I.

August 12th: Next Big Goal

I have several mini-goals that I would like to reach before August 14th, but one major one. August 14th will be my first day in school with students. I want to be able to wear a size 10 dress pants comfortably (meaning I want to not just fit into them, but for them to look flattering on my body). This is a huge deal considering that the smallest size of pants I wore as a teacher was a size 28, and before I changed jobs ballooned all the way up to size 36W in pants.

I carry the majority of my excess weight in my hips and thighs. The amount is decreasing, but still needs to decrease quite a bit more in my eyes. I certainly think as I work towards becoming more consistent with running I will see this happen.


I had GED Professional Development this evening. We broke off into groups to discuss some writing that we had done. This lady goes on to tell me about this traumatic experience she had a year ago. She said a statement that really struck me. "You don't have to physically die in order to have life as you know it completely changed." Wow....how true is that. Talk about making me want to take time to really appreciate life and my experiences more.

My Favorite Song of the Moment

I am a Christian, and this song really speaks to my heart. Oh that I would learn to trust.

Natalie Grant -
In Better Hands
From the album Relentless


It’s hard to stand
On shifting sand
It’s hard to shineIn the shadows of the night
You can’t be freeIf you don’t reach for help
And you can’t loveIf you don’t love yourself
But there is hope when my faith runs out…
Cause I’m in better hands now

Chorus:It’s like the sun is shining
When the rain is pouring down
It’s like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine
There’s no doubt
I’m in better hands now

I am strong
All because of you
I stand in awe of Every mountain that you move
I am changed
Yesterday is gone
I am safe
From this moment on…
And there’s no fear when the night comes around
I’m in better hands now

Chorus
It’s like the sun is shining
When the rain is pouring down
It’s like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
It’s like the world is silent
Though I know it isn’t true
It’s like the breath of Jesus
Is right here in this room
So take this heart of mine
There’s no doubt

You can’t be saved
If you’re not reaching out for help

Frankfort Work

I'm working with my group in Frankfort, and of course, eating/dieting came up. We are doing this "Biggest Loser" club, so it does seem to frequent our sidebar conversations. I have gotten several comments on how I am still sliding down the scale, etc.

One lady Mary said something very interesting. I made a comment about my size, and she said, "You don't really see yourself as you are." I knew I had some body distortion issues, but hearing it from someone else was interesting. It is hard for me to realize that I am indeed getting smaller.

Bye Bye 180's....

I weighed in at 179 this morning! I have lost six pounds so far this month! I am 29 pounds from my pre-plastics goal. :) WOOT! WOOT! Life is GOOD!

Fuze Drinks

I tried the tropical punch version of Fuze last night and it was amazing! It only has two carbs. I have long been burned out on Crystal Light flavored packets for my water and even Propel. This is certainly going to be a treat for me. There are only 10 calories in each one as well. :) Gee, I may end up breaking down and buying the Fuze brand lip gloss at Sephora now.

This weekend is going to be a pretty busy one. I have a training until 7:30 on Friday night. I am in training all day on Saturday. (I have to go to these, or I cannot teach GED courses anymore.) Then Saturday night is my mom's retirement party. On Sunday, I have church, then my friend Michelle's baby shower.

Off to work in Frankfort....sigh. I love those that I work with, but with gas at $3.99 a gallon, this week driving has been a pill.

Excellent Quote

“However beautiful the strategy is, you should occasionally look at the results.” - Winston Churchill

Tiffany's Race Calendar

July 12th Firecracker 5K
July 26th Run for Recovery 5K (Lexington)

August 9th OC Grandslam 5K Series
August 23rd Shirley Stufflebeam Memorial Race Against ALS

September 13th OC Grandslam 5K Series
September 20th Chicken Chase (4 Miles - Henryville, IN)
September 27th Outrunning Autism

October 11th Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure
October 24th Cystic Fibrosis Run Like Hell

November 8th Texas Roadhouse Cave Hill Flags4Vets Run (4 Miles)

You will be reading more about my journey to becoming a better runner as this blog continues. I want to be an adult onset athlete. I'm sure more quotes from John "The Penguin" Bingham will be coming too.

Graduation Pictures...

I am so proud of my brother. He has really worked hard, and now has his bachelor's degree. This was a big day for him, and for me too.

My brother, sister, and I pose together.

Here are my sister and I together. What still is unbelievable to me in this picture is how much we look alike. My body is not that much different from hers. I am probably 35-40 pounds heavier than she is, but wow...I just can't believe it. She was telling me the other day our mom was showing pictures to one of her friends. The friend asked where I was, and why I wasn't in the pictures. She actually thought that I was my sister! WOW! :)

I stayed the night Saturday night with my parents. We didn't get in until midnight, and my mom and I worked on a scrapbook for Mother's Day. This morning, I was looking at pictures my mom had up of me around the house. Is it horrible to say that I wish they were gone? I really wish I could nicely ask her to take down all my fat pictures. I know I am not thin as a stick anymore, but I am not 300, 330, or 393 pounds anymore either. I feel like they are some type of "fat ghost" that is haunting me. That is another reason I am excited about going to work in a place where most of the people don't know that I was SSMO. (I think only 4 people know.)

Also, the girl who lives next door to me finally complimented me on my weight loss. She is finishing up medical school, and I just think she felt akward saying anything. She really freaked out when I told her how much weight I had lost. At the grocery story, I said hello to a parent whom I had BOTH of his children in school. He did not recognize me at all. It was cool to reintroduce myself to him.

Entitlement

Note: The idea for this blog entry came from Cranky Fitness. I had never put the word entitlement to some of my emotions, but it sure hits the nail on the head.

Prior to having WLS, I thought I was entitled to anything (and everything) I wanted food/beverage wise. American society is very much like this as a whole, we want everything in an instant oatmeal type fashion, never believing in waiting or denying ourselves pleasure.

I felt I was entitled to food, and large quantities of it. Yes, I worked hard, and often ran to food as my comfort. The truth is I am not entitled to a bunch of food. I need to eat to live, not live to eat. The DS has really helped me with this concept. Food doesn't have the control over me it once did.

There are still rough waters ahead I'm sure. I'm not entitled. I'm not priviledged. I am an ordinary person, and need to use food for fuel.

This topic will be revisited at a later time. There is much more I want to share.

Dove Real Beauty Ads

Dove "Real Beauty" Ads Were Photoshopped

Mini Motivator From Back In Skinny Jeans

Um Yeah....NO

I have talked about in my blog before about the department near mine that runs pretty much a 24-7 buffet at least three days a week. I walk by this department this morning at 8:40, and they have ICE CREAM opened and people had already been eating on it! No, that is not typo on the time, it was 8:40 in the morning. Craziness!

This weekend is super busy. My brother is graduating from WKU on Saturday, then Sunday will be Mother's day stuff. I hope I get back in time to go to the Sojourn church that I have been attending in the evening.

WOW

Nothing much to report right now. I reported a while back that I fit into one of those seat/desk combination chairs. They literally cut off my circulation from high school through graduate school. Not only was there four inches before I would have been touching the desk, I was able to cross my legs under the desk. I seriously could have cried.

I taught my first solo GED class tonight. I am going to have to work on my approach to teaching these math concepts so I can more clearly communicate them.

I am thrilled to be settled as far as my school next year, and what I will be teaching. I am going to work under a dynamic principal, and I know I will be pushed to grow professionally.

WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I got the job! I had an interview yesterday for a fifth grade teaching position at a school I very much want to work at. I found out just a few minutes ago that I go the position!


WOOOO HOOOO!!!!!

Tuna

This was posted on Obesity Help the other day. I had several cans of tuna I swore were going to carry me into the next World War, but not now! Tuna certainly is back!

can of tuna
mayo
sweet relish
barbecue sauce

It was so fantastic!!! I had two cans of tuna yesterday! I am also thinking of adding honey mustard in substitution for the barbecue sauce. Tuna is such a great source of protein. One can has 35 grams total. I really had gotten burned out on it though. I'm glad I found a new way to eat it.

Lace Up Your Shots

and get yourself in this race!!!

That's right....I registered for a slew of 5Ks today. I am bringing on my A game. I am going to kick this running thing up a notch. I am not worried about times at all, just getting through the races. I know I can do this, and I want to do this. I know once I get through the first race, I will build up momentum in my belief that I really can do this.

My goal is to run the Triple Crown next spring. That is a 3, 6, and 10 mile race over the course of several weeks. (If I am brave enough, it also includes a mini marathon, who knows!)

I also bought a few outfits to run in. I needed some shorter pants to wear, and I bought a few shirts too. I also bought a size Large belt. :)

From Post Secret

This card from Post Secret really sums up a lot about how I feel about myself right now. Losing weight has been so much more than just a physical change. I am down to 181 today. That is two more pounds, bringing my loss to four pounds this month.

Rocky Training

I need some of this willpower!

Running

It is beautiful outside, a bit cold, but all I can think about is how nice a good run would feel. I love that I am thinking that way. Of course, right now I am watching two boys, so I can't. I really think this warm weather is going to bust my exercise blahs. I was even checking out this website the other day that listed local races, so I can perhaps do more 5Ks. (I have not done my first one yet, but I will be before too long.)

I want more clothes. Ok, I want more clothes that compliment my current weird looking body. I cannot handle tank tops. My shorts are going to have to be capris until I get an inner thigh repair. I seem to be wearing the same few things over and over again. I really hate that. I want some fun clothes. When I have on clothes that fit, I feel so good about myself.

I also had this crazy notion the other day that I actually need to get a belt. It has been years since I have worn one. I don't even know where to start.

Crawling towards Goal

I weighed in at 183 pounds today. I am down two pounds for this month so far. I've seen friends who needed to lose 30-40 pounds go on diets, and really struggle to get to that "goal" weight. Most of the time, I thought the goal weight was within range, and nothing outlandish. I can now understand why people say the last ___ pounds are the hardest. (I think typically I have heard the last 20.) With that being said, I don't necessarily see them as being the hardest pounds, but my body is slowing down, and putting on some breaks.

I was listening to a message by a man I deeply respect named Keith Green. He passed away many years ago, but his words are so timely and true. He was talking about the race of life, and doing right even when we don't feel like it. How we cannot go by our feelings alone. The end of the race is where the judges are. Yes, you have to run a good start, and a good middle...but the judges are at the end. The key question for me is: Will I end as I have begun?

In thinking about that question further, and pondering the whole not operating on my feelings, I want to keep making good choices. About 95% of the time, I do make great DS choices. I want to continue with this. Where I am dropping the ball big time is with the exercise. Next week I am completely slammed with work (even in the evenings), but after that, I am getting my exercise game back on! I think part of my problem is I keep forgetting that I don't get exhausted just going through the ordinary motions of life anymore. My body is craving movement, and I need to start giving it just that.

Well, I am off to watch the two boys I nanny all day today and tomorrow. I am staying the night at their house. It is Derby weekend, so I will be making great money. Not to mention, they are easy to watch and fun to be around. That always makes things better. :)