Over a week ago, I got to have lunch with my best friend and two good friends that I used to work with. I was actually pretty apprehensive about this lunch. My relationship with the larger lady has faded. It has been completely because of WLS. It is not completely my fault or her fault, but it has happened. I didn't want it to happen. I do have to be honest that sometimes it is hard for me because when I look at her, I see a spitting image of what I used to look like. I hope I don't sound too selfish when I write this, but I can't completely put my finger on it.
The meeting went surprisingly well. I think we might be able to salvage this relationship. I have heard that this has often occurred amongst women. Anyone else had any experiences like this?
3 comments:
There's got to be so many thoughts and emotions that go through both of your heads when you see each other. On some level, probably even a subconscience level, she probably harbors a bit of jealousy regarding your unbelievable success. There's probably some hurt and anger there, too, because she probably wants the same for herself. Maybe she thinks that you now look down on her for being overweight now, since you aren't anymore. (OF COURSE I know that's not true.) Who knows what it is. SHE probably doesn't know what it is herself.
I say, don't give up on her yet. Hopefully, like you said, this friendship can be salvaged.
You all look great! I'm sure it would be hard to maintain a friendship with someone who hasn't had wls. I'm sure it's also hard for her to see you looking as awesome as you do. I've seen the same senerio played out with many friendships.
I can really relate to your feelings. There are several bigger ladies that I have a harder and harder time relating to. But at the same time, it makes me wonder how my skinnier/normal size friends used to ____ (not sure of the word -- tolerate? hang out with? be friends with?) me, and I feel guilty.
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