4th of July Cookout

I wen to a Fourth of July Cookout with Ben's friends today. I did pretty well in this social situation, much better than I would have done 226 pounds heavier. I still have a decent amount of anxiety of being in these type of situations. The first thing I did was size myself up with the other ladies. There was one lady who was bigger than me. Next, I wouldn't hardly allow myself anything to eat. I had one chicken breast and 5 crackers. I refused cake when it was offered to me. (How I wanted to eat that cake...but I didn't want to feed into the stereotype of no wonder she is so big, look at that big piece of cake she is stuffing in her mouth.) I did really push the fluids down like no tomorrow. I drank a TON of water.

On the way home, I got to thinking, why do I place myself so much more below these other ladies. Seriously, at best I am 30 pounds heavier than they are...so why am I letting myself get mentally beat up over my size? I am working on this mental stuff, but boy is it ever TOUGH.

Ben told me last night that he loved me! I am so excited about my birthday surprise tomorrow. I am certainly brining my camera to take pictures!

Now, it is off to see fireworks and hear some live music! Happy 4th everyone!