Ben and I had a blast White Water Rafting. I would honestly like to go to a place and experience a bit more challenging rapids. It was an exhilarating experience. I wish I had pictures, but digital cameras and water don't mix that well. The point is that I have an experience to savor, and no one can take that away from me.
One thing that I did do on the trip was firmly make up my mind that I am running a half-marathon next year. I would like to run it next spring. One lady on the boat runs one every year. She was at least 40-45 years old, and was probably 20 pounds heavier than me. I thought, if she can do it, so can I. I would like to run it late spring, but before it gets too blistery hot in the summer time.
I ordered some books on training for a half-marathon. This is a goal I want to become reality. I know it will be challenging, but so worth it. I am also looking into joining a running group that meets nearby my house. I think it might take a little bit confidence wise to feel like I "fit in" with these people, but I think training with like minded people would really be of great assistance. I hope to find one other lady that I really connect with who would be a great mentor to me in running.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Busy Week....So Thrilled for a THREE DAY Weekend!!!
Ben and I will be off at 5am in the morning to go white water rafting! WOOOOO HOOOO!!!! I am so pumped about this. We get to spend about three hours out on the lake in the rapids, then the rest of the time on a boat cruise. Since we are leaving so early, I imagine that I will be SLEEPING on part of the boat cruise! FUN TIMES!
Now onto some of the conversation tidbits that I have had with Ben. He has been so sweet and adorable with the whole WLS stuff. He was looking over my list of things that I wanted to accomplish, and he remarked on how many I wanted to do. He commented very specifically on a few of them. One was to look good in a two piece bathing suit. Then I had crossed that out, and wrote to look good in a one piece bathing suit. He replied that he thought I would look cute in a two piece bathing suit. Another goal was to be light enough that a man could pick me up and give me a piggie back ride. He said that he was certain that he could give me a piggie back no problem. He said he had given girls that he had dated in the past (who were bigger than me) piggie back rides. (Can I also tell you what a relief it is that he has dated girls who were bigger than me! Not to mention that his mom said I was the first girl he dated that was on his same intellectual level.)
Tonight, he complimented me again how beautiful I looked. At the end of the night, he said lets try something. He sat down in a chair, and asked me to sit in his lap. I got tears in my eyes and told him I was just not ready yet. He hugged me, reassurred me, and told me when I was ready to try he would love to have me sit in his lap. (Can I tell you how much I love this guy!!!)
I do have another thing I want to add to my "to do list"....parasailing! Perhaps I can knock parasailing and zip lining both off late spring.
Also, booked tickets today to go to Seattle election weekend. We are also going to drive up to Vancouver, B.C.
Life is good. God is Great!
Now onto some of the conversation tidbits that I have had with Ben. He has been so sweet and adorable with the whole WLS stuff. He was looking over my list of things that I wanted to accomplish, and he remarked on how many I wanted to do. He commented very specifically on a few of them. One was to look good in a two piece bathing suit. Then I had crossed that out, and wrote to look good in a one piece bathing suit. He replied that he thought I would look cute in a two piece bathing suit. Another goal was to be light enough that a man could pick me up and give me a piggie back ride. He said that he was certain that he could give me a piggie back no problem. He said he had given girls that he had dated in the past (who were bigger than me) piggie back rides. (Can I also tell you what a relief it is that he has dated girls who were bigger than me! Not to mention that his mom said I was the first girl he dated that was on his same intellectual level.)
Tonight, he complimented me again how beautiful I looked. At the end of the night, he said lets try something. He sat down in a chair, and asked me to sit in his lap. I got tears in my eyes and told him I was just not ready yet. He hugged me, reassurred me, and told me when I was ready to try he would love to have me sit in his lap. (Can I tell you how much I love this guy!!!)
I do have another thing I want to add to my "to do list"....parasailing! Perhaps I can knock parasailing and zip lining both off late spring.
Also, booked tickets today to go to Seattle election weekend. We are also going to drive up to Vancouver, B.C.
Life is good. God is Great!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
About Taking the Risk and Loving Someone...
C.S. Lewis has always been one of my favorite authors. I had read this quote by him years ago, and wanted to share it...
"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
-- C.S. Lewis
Love is worth the risk.
"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
-- C.S. Lewis
Love is worth the risk.
17 Months Post-Op Today
I weighed in at 153 pounds. I am down a total of eight pounds for this month. It feels wonderful to have 240 pounds GONE.
I would love to see my feet planted firmly in the 140's for next month.
I think the quote that really summarizes my thoughts at this point is the Neil Armstrong quote. "Accomplishing a goal is not nearly as important as the person you become accomplishing it." I will have to write more about this later.
I would love to see my feet planted firmly in the 140's for next month.
I think the quote that really summarizes my thoughts at this point is the Neil Armstrong quote. "Accomplishing a goal is not nearly as important as the person you become accomplishing it." I will have to write more about this later.
Monday, August 25, 2008
RELIEF
I told Ben last night. I started thinking about it last night on the way home, and I realized that there would never be a perfect time to tell him (in my mind), so I needed to make a decision and just do it.
How do I feel now....RELIEVED!!! Ben was very sweet and understanding. He said he knew almost from the onset that there was something that I wasn't telling him. He went on to say, not that I was being deceptive, but that there was something more I had not shared with him. He knew of me going skydiving, and the other things I had planned for the summer, and in his mind wanted to know what the motivation was behind doing all these new and exciting things. He applauded me for being proactive about my health. I showed him pictures of what I looked like before.
It feels good to have that out in the open.
How do I feel now....RELIEVED!!! Ben was very sweet and understanding. He said he knew almost from the onset that there was something that I wasn't telling him. He went on to say, not that I was being deceptive, but that there was something more I had not shared with him. He knew of me going skydiving, and the other things I had planned for the summer, and in his mind wanted to know what the motivation was behind doing all these new and exciting things. He applauded me for being proactive about my health. I showed him pictures of what I looked like before.
It feels good to have that out in the open.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Down Another...
2 pounds!!!
I now weigh 153 pounds, and have lost a total of 8 pounds for this month so far. My BMI is a 24.
After I did my victory dance this morning, my mind started whirling again. I thought, I wonder how low on the scale I could get to. (I've actually heard this from several DSers. They say for a short period of time it became competitive as far as the number on the scale.) I would love to see 135 on the scale for certain. I am also worried about the bounce back weight that seems to happen for most DSers after reaching their lowest weight.
Right now, I just need to concentrate on getting to 145. Once I get there, I will reevaluate my goals and go from there.
I now weigh 153 pounds, and have lost a total of 8 pounds for this month so far. My BMI is a 24.
After I did my victory dance this morning, my mind started whirling again. I thought, I wonder how low on the scale I could get to. (I've actually heard this from several DSers. They say for a short period of time it became competitive as far as the number on the scale.) I would love to see 135 on the scale for certain. I am also worried about the bounce back weight that seems to happen for most DSers after reaching their lowest weight.
Right now, I just need to concentrate on getting to 145. Once I get there, I will reevaluate my goals and go from there.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Excellent Quote
"Accomplishing a goal is not nearly as important as the person you become accomplishing it."
- Neil Armstrong
- Neil Armstrong
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I Know It Is Time...Need Courage
I know it is time to tell Ben, I just need courage to do so. He hugged me this evening, and rubbed on my back for a minute or two, and said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but your whole body has really been changing since I've met you." He goes on to say how trim I am, and how much more muscle I have, etc. He hugged me again, and lifted me up off the ground. Wait, let me say that again... HE LIFTED ME UP OFF THE GROUND! ME...OFF...THE...GROUND.
He went on later to say a bit later that he was starting to feel a bit self conscience about his own body image. I immediately reassured him that he was PERFECT for me.
Here is hoping I find the courage SOON!
He went on later to say a bit later that he was starting to feel a bit self conscience about his own body image. I immediately reassured him that he was PERFECT for me.
Here is hoping I find the courage SOON!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Time for a Few Pictures
Only in my dreams could I wear this skirt:
Penny and I:
Sam and I:
These guys were posing outside of the movies in Lexington. I made Penny stop the car, and I ran up to ask them if I could take my picture with them. Something I would have never done pre-DS.
My class this school year. I was missing one student. The picture is not perfect, but I felt bad asking the person to keep retaking the picture. This picture really freaks me out because of how "normal" I look. All my previous class pictures I have been so huge, I really like how I look in this picture.
Penny and I:
Sam and I:
These guys were posing outside of the movies in Lexington. I made Penny stop the car, and I ran up to ask them if I could take my picture with them. Something I would have never done pre-DS.
My class this school year. I was missing one student. The picture is not perfect, but I felt bad asking the person to keep retaking the picture. This picture really freaks me out because of how "normal" I look. All my previous class pictures I have been so huge, I really like how I look in this picture.
The Home Stretch ....
I weighed in at 155 this morning. I am down another pound, which puts me at a six pound loss for the month.
I am now in the homestretch. Ten more pounds to go until goal! Wooooooooooo Hooooooooooo!!!!
I am now in the homestretch. Ten more pounds to go until goal! Wooooooooooo Hooooooooooo!!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
You Know You Go to Starbucks Too Much When...
Here is my Starbucks encounter this morning....
"I would like a venti, br..."
My barista, "breve, sugar free Cinnamon dolce latte with whip."
I love my starbucks!!!
"I would like a venti, br..."
My barista, "breve, sugar free Cinnamon dolce latte with whip."
I love my starbucks!!!
Can I Just Be Done Already....?
I want to be DONE. I have said that for some time. Yet, I know I want to keep pressing forward with my weight loss. I was talking things out with my Gran, and this is the biggest reason. If I had already had children, and was at 156, I think I would be fine. I have not had children, and think I would like to have at least two of them. Thinking through that, it is not ok to stop where I am at. Yes, I believe that the DS will help me with life long weight loss maintenance. Yet, battling off pregnancy weight, I want to be at the lower end of my BMI when I get pregnant.
Aside from that major reason, I want to achieve this goal. I've never reached a weight loss goal like this. I want to achieve 100% success.
Another thing that is just very interesting to me is how much flab you can still have on your body, yet be considered a reasonable weight. I still have a decent amount of flab on me, yet many people think my weight is fine.
Aside from that major reason, I want to achieve this goal. I've never reached a weight loss goal like this. I want to achieve 100% success.
Another thing that is just very interesting to me is how much flab you can still have on your body, yet be considered a reasonable weight. I still have a decent amount of flab on me, yet many people think my weight is fine.
Adjustments Needed
Since I have had the DS and lost a bunch of weight, my energy level has obviously gone through the roof. I have taken the time that I should have been sleeping and just pushed on through. Well, it is really catching up with me. I've got to get on some sort of consistent sleep schedule. I also have to get more hours of sleep each evening.
I got eight hours of sleep last night, and I feel good. Here is to trying to get MORE sleep. (Man, I feel like I am getting OLD!)
I got eight hours of sleep last night, and I feel good. Here is to trying to get MORE sleep. (Man, I feel like I am getting OLD!)
Monday, August 18, 2008
I Need a Weekend Extension Please
I am so tired. I must get some SOLID z's tonight.
Off to dreamland.....
Off to dreamland.....
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Another Goal
I had mentioned that I would be needing to think about new goals that I want to achieve because as of Labor Day weekend, I would have accomplished all the goals that I had set forth for this summer. 
I want to climb Lockegee Rock. Above is a picture taken from the top of it. I climbed Lockegee Rock at the end of my freshman year in college. I weighed about 220 pounds at the time. On the way back down, I broke my ankle quite badly. I ended up being carried the rest of the way down on a stretcher.
I want to go back and climb this rock again 64 pounds lighter. I want to prove to myself that I can do it, and not get hurt this time. Penny and I talked about going to Morehead's Homecoming again this year in October. I think that might be the perfect time to try it.
Boot Camp at FITLife
This is going to be me from October 7th through November 6th!!! I can do this!!!
The Weekend
I got to spend Friday night and most of Saturday with my best friend Penny. We went shopping today, and it was so weird. For the first time in my life, I felt out of place at Lane Bryant. Hello...this is the store that has clothed my body since 7th grade, and now I can't where a thing in the store. The sales people didn't even ask if I needed any help.
We went to several stores that I never in my life dreamed I could shop in. Not only could I shop in them, but I don't wear the biggest size in that store. I bought clothes from New York and Company, Express, and Talbotts. I also got my new winter coat...a size 8. Last October, I bought a size 22/24 winter coat. I got mediums in all my clothing, and for the clothing that had a size, I bought 8's.
I also came up with a pretty hard rule today. I would not buy anything that was bigger than an 8 or a medium. I realize that there are not sizing standards in women's clothing like the mens, but I need this rule. I still hope to lose at least 11 more pounds, but would eventually love to get down to 130. I need a limit for how high a number I will let the clothes in my closet get. Once you buy the next size up, it gets so easy to keep climbing up. I know, I did that for YEARS. NO MORE. The only time I will "go up" will be when I have children of my own. I am going to be a success story.
Tonight I watched the boys. It has been about 5-6 weeks since I have seen them last. The mom was talking about how skinny I was. She said I was not allowed to get skinnier than her. (She was very much joking. She has been so supportive through this whole process.) Tonight the dad kept commenting on how much I had lost, and he couldn't believe the difference in my face and neck. He said you have to be done already. You look great.
Ben and I continue to grow closer. I am really enjoying getting to know him better.
We went to several stores that I never in my life dreamed I could shop in. Not only could I shop in them, but I don't wear the biggest size in that store. I bought clothes from New York and Company, Express, and Talbotts. I also got my new winter coat...a size 8. Last October, I bought a size 22/24 winter coat. I got mediums in all my clothing, and for the clothing that had a size, I bought 8's.
I also came up with a pretty hard rule today. I would not buy anything that was bigger than an 8 or a medium. I realize that there are not sizing standards in women's clothing like the mens, but I need this rule. I still hope to lose at least 11 more pounds, but would eventually love to get down to 130. I need a limit for how high a number I will let the clothes in my closet get. Once you buy the next size up, it gets so easy to keep climbing up. I know, I did that for YEARS. NO MORE. The only time I will "go up" will be when I have children of my own. I am going to be a success story.
Tonight I watched the boys. It has been about 5-6 weeks since I have seen them last. The mom was talking about how skinny I was. She said I was not allowed to get skinnier than her. (She was very much joking. She has been so supportive through this whole process.) Tonight the dad kept commenting on how much I had lost, and he couldn't believe the difference in my face and neck. He said you have to be done already. You look great.
Ben and I continue to grow closer. I am really enjoying getting to know him better.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Comment that Makes Me Think I am Dreaming
"Come here and let me wrap my arms around your trim little waist," says Ben.
Pinch Me. I MUST BE DREAMING! I never in my life thought I would hear those words! Of course, they had me beaming from ear to ear. What wonders hearing that does to my self concept. I am so thrilled to be his girl. We took pictures of us together with his cell phone. We are a really cute couple.
Work is going well. I'm not so sure if my teammates (other 5th grade teachers) like me that much, but that is ok. I have other friends in the building. I am really looking forward to learning more about my students in detail, and helping them to succeed academically and personally.
Pinch Me. I MUST BE DREAMING! I never in my life thought I would hear those words! Of course, they had me beaming from ear to ear. What wonders hearing that does to my self concept. I am so thrilled to be his girl. We took pictures of us together with his cell phone. We are a really cute couple.
Work is going well. I'm not so sure if my teammates (other 5th grade teachers) like me that much, but that is ok. I have other friends in the building. I am really looking forward to learning more about my students in detail, and helping them to succeed academically and personally.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Recap
My first day back went very well. I have 18 students. WOW...what a dream size class. I am looking forward to really digging in and getting to know my students much better. Typically, I come home after the first day and CRASH. This year I did not. I didn't feel super tired until about 10:30 last night. I came home and I was pretty productive too. Now, my luck today would be that I'll be exhausted this afternoon, but won't be able to crash until 8:30 after I get done working at the GED center.
Even if I get pretty tired over the next few weeks, I'm not going to be discouraged by that, because redirecting children and teaching them to follow your procedures and routines is VERY exhausting. Yet, if I don't take the time to do it now, I will end up having to nag all year long, and I CERTAINLY don't want to do that. I love the feeling come October when my classroom is a well oiled machine. I'll keep pressing towards that goal.
I went to Borders last night just to look around. Ben called me, and we ended up meeting to have a late dinner together. I forgot to mention that on Monday night I started the conversation with Ben of some of the mental battles I've had concerning my weight loss. Did I tell him I had surgery yet? No, I didn't. The point for me is that I opened the door. I guess in my mind I needed to stick my toe in to test the waters before diving full force in. His response to what I did share...nothing but love and compassion. Honestly, I didn't expect anything else, but it was still a RELIEF! :)
Even if I get pretty tired over the next few weeks, I'm not going to be discouraged by that, because redirecting children and teaching them to follow your procedures and routines is VERY exhausting. Yet, if I don't take the time to do it now, I will end up having to nag all year long, and I CERTAINLY don't want to do that. I love the feeling come October when my classroom is a well oiled machine. I'll keep pressing towards that goal.
I went to Borders last night just to look around. Ben called me, and we ended up meeting to have a late dinner together. I forgot to mention that on Monday night I started the conversation with Ben of some of the mental battles I've had concerning my weight loss. Did I tell him I had surgery yet? No, I didn't. The point for me is that I opened the door. I guess in my mind I needed to stick my toe in to test the waters before diving full force in. His response to what I did share...nothing but love and compassion. Honestly, I didn't expect anything else, but it was still a RELIEF! :)
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
OH YEAH!!!
I called about the white water rafting trip. They have space on the 30th! I talked with Ben, and he is all for it. I am calling today to make the reservations. The trip is an all day thing. You spend three hours in the water, and the rest of the time on a boat cruising.
I am pumped and ready to start my first day back to teaching in the classroom. This is my "seventh" first day of school as a teacher. (One year I started the year as a Literacy Specialist.) Cheers to a great day!
I am pumped and ready to start my first day back to teaching in the classroom. This is my "seventh" first day of school as a teacher. (One year I started the year as a Literacy Specialist.) Cheers to a great day!
Monday, August 11, 2008
And Tomorrow It Begins
Tomorrow is the first day for students. I am pretty tired right now. I am going out to get a manicure and pedicure, stop by Office Depot, then it is off to BED for me. Now being able to sleep is another issue entirely.
I'll try to post a picture of by "Back to School" outfit tomorrow evening.
I'll try to post a picture of by "Back to School" outfit tomorrow evening.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
WOW
I just looked up on my blog to see if I had written anything this time last year about what my weight was. This time last year I weighed 285 pounds. I am 129 pounds lighter than that right now. WOW!!! WOW!!! WOW!!!
Making Plans for Whitewater Rafting
Ben said he would love to go whitewater rafting with me. It is going to be so cool to go with him. That is two of my four goals I have gotten to accomplish with him by my side. I am looking at August 30th right now. If that doesn't work, then we may not be able to go until the first weekend in October. I am going to finalize the dates with him tomorrow, so I can go ahead and make the reservations. I'll keep you all posted!
After white water rafting, I need to take some time to reflect and decide what some other goals are that I want to accomplish. :)
After white water rafting, I need to take some time to reflect and decide what some other goals are that I want to accomplish. :)
Happy It Is the Weekend!!!
The week at work was pretty good, but I am happy it is the weekend! :)
Last night Ben and I went to see Batman: The Dark Knight. It was an excellent film, but man was it ever intense. Today I am taking him to meet my grandmother. She is so excited about meeting him. I think it will be a great visit. This afternoon we are discussing the Love and Respect book, and going over a few more questions from the 101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged.
Ok, I've procrastinated long enough. I need to actually get moving and become productive for a few hours.
Last night Ben and I went to see Batman: The Dark Knight. It was an excellent film, but man was it ever intense. Today I am taking him to meet my grandmother. She is so excited about meeting him. I think it will be a great visit. This afternoon we are discussing the Love and Respect book, and going over a few more questions from the 101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged.
Ok, I've procrastinated long enough. I need to actually get moving and become productive for a few hours.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Planting My Feet Firmly in the 150's (For NOW!)
I lost two more pounds. I now weigh 156 pounds. I am down 5 pounds for the month so far. It is so amazing to look at my weight loss ticker (at the bottom of my blog), and realize that I am almost DONE with this journey. I had so much to lose, I know some days I felt I would never reach this point, but I am getting there.
Today is my first offical day of work. I have meetings all day today and Monday. Unlike with my old boss, I am actually looking forward to these meetings because of my principal's vision for our students. I truly feel they will be productive and on target.
I'm going out to see the new Batman movie with Ben tonight. I am looking forward to more time with him. :)
Today is my first offical day of work. I have meetings all day today and Monday. Unlike with my old boss, I am actually looking forward to these meetings because of my principal's vision for our students. I truly feel they will be productive and on target.
I'm going out to see the new Batman movie with Ben tonight. I am looking forward to more time with him. :)
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Break On Thru to the Other Side....
I lost another pound. I now weigh 158 pounds. I am going to dance my way thru these last few pounds. 13 pounds to goal....it seems almost surreal. The last time I weighed this amount was probably at the end of fifth grade, or the beginning of sixth grade.
I feel so great!!!
I feel so great!!!
I have lost 94.7% of my excess weight!!!
I have lost 59.8% of my total body weight from the day of surgery!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Coming Along
My classroom is coming along well. My mom is coming up to help me tomorrow. I want to be finished so that this weekend I can work on doing some planning for lessons. (I have a general idea of what I am doing the first two days, but after that, I need to work on the rest.) I want to make a strong impression, and really get on the right foot with my students.
I went to meet Ben and his mom. We were going to go eat, when Ben's mom said she would like to see my classroom. She really enjoyed going to my classroom. Afterwards, we went out to eat a later brunch. I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, his mother asked me if I would like to join them for Thanksgiving at the Biltmore Estate. I would be leaving the Friday evening before Thanksgiving, and returning that following Saturday. We would stay three nights at the Biltmore Estate, and the rest of the time at his mom's house. I am going to share a room with her. I AM SO EXCITED!!!
This afternoon I had a meeting for the staff at my GED Center. I was a bit nervous about leading this meeting, because I was allowing all staff to voice their concerns about how the center could be improved. I am also considerably younger than most of the workers under me. I was able to come up with a few immediate solutions to some problems, and the rest are going to take some time to work on, as they were not created overnight. I know I would not have the confidence to lead meetings like this had I been SSMO.
I went to meet Ben and his mom. We were going to go eat, when Ben's mom said she would like to see my classroom. She really enjoyed going to my classroom. Afterwards, we went out to eat a later brunch. I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, his mother asked me if I would like to join them for Thanksgiving at the Biltmore Estate. I would be leaving the Friday evening before Thanksgiving, and returning that following Saturday. We would stay three nights at the Biltmore Estate, and the rest of the time at his mom's house. I am going to share a room with her. I AM SO EXCITED!!!
This afternoon I had a meeting for the staff at my GED Center. I was a bit nervous about leading this meeting, because I was allowing all staff to voice their concerns about how the center could be improved. I am also considerably younger than most of the workers under me. I was able to come up with a few immediate solutions to some problems, and the rest are going to take some time to work on, as they were not created overnight. I know I would not have the confidence to lead meetings like this had I been SSMO.
1 Year, Four Months, and 11 Days
I have a NORMAL BMI!!!!
I weighed in this morning at 159, which puts my BMI at 24.9. I have lost 36.7 points off my BMI since began this journey.
Being normal has never felt so good!
Now...14 more pounds to go!!! Then I can say GOAL!!!!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
PCP Visit Today
My PCP wants me to stop the weight loss. I have lost 11 pounds on her scale since I saw her last. I explained to her how I was eating, so she couldn't agrue with me on that point. I have personally decided that I am going to creatively disagree with her on this point. I want to get to the mid range of a normal BMI for certain.
I think one issue that my PCP (and many PCPs may have) is that our society is so big now. When a person my size comes in, I appear to be normal, or even "small." I have also stated earlier that she is on the bigger side herself (not really big, but a bit chunky), and I think perhaps when she sizes me up to herself she thinks I don't need to lose any weight.
Ben came to see my classroom today. He was very complimentary on how it looked. I got to introduce him to a few coworkers as well. Then we went to pick up his mom from the airport and have dinner together. She was a very sweet lady, and we got along very well. Tomorrow we are going for brunch together.
I am off to bed. I want a FULL night's sleep tonight.
I think one issue that my PCP (and many PCPs may have) is that our society is so big now. When a person my size comes in, I appear to be normal, or even "small." I have also stated earlier that she is on the bigger side herself (not really big, but a bit chunky), and I think perhaps when she sizes me up to herself she thinks I don't need to lose any weight.
Ben came to see my classroom today. He was very complimentary on how it looked. I got to introduce him to a few coworkers as well. Then we went to pick up his mom from the airport and have dinner together. She was a very sweet lady, and we got along very well. Tomorrow we are going for brunch together.
I am off to bed. I want a FULL night's sleep tonight.
Good Morning
I weighed in at 160 this morning. I am down one pound so far this month. I typically lose the most around my period, so I am still hoping for more of a loss to show later on this month. I am one pound away from a NORMAL BMI! Woooo Hooooo!!!
Today I am going to see my PCP, and proably get some labs done. I am working at school this morning, and this afternoon I am taking Ben down to see my classroom, and meet some of the people I work with. Then, we are picking up his mom from the airport, and going to dinner. She really seems to like me, I hope this carries through when we spend time together this afternoon and evening.
On Sunday evening while waiting for the crew to get our hot air balloon ready, Ben and I were on the sidelines watching. He decided to sit down, and asked if I was going to do so as well. I said no, because of bugs. (I seem to attract all types of bugs, and end up with a million bug bites. After going to two outdoor dramas this weekend, I didn't want to be closer to any of them that I had to.) He said well you can sit here, and patted his legs. I politely declined. In my head I couldn't believe he would actually think I am light enough to sit on his lap.
Yesterday, I was talking with a woman who used to be my co-worker. She asked if I was ready to stop with my weight loss. I said no, because I still have pockets of fat that I can grab. She said I have that (she is pretty small), and that most people have that. I realize this is true, but I really want to be at the lower end of my BMI range. I want to have some cushion in case I bounce back a few pounds a year or so from now.
Today I am going to see my PCP, and proably get some labs done. I am working at school this morning, and this afternoon I am taking Ben down to see my classroom, and meet some of the people I work with. Then, we are picking up his mom from the airport, and going to dinner. She really seems to like me, I hope this carries through when we spend time together this afternoon and evening.
On Sunday evening while waiting for the crew to get our hot air balloon ready, Ben and I were on the sidelines watching. He decided to sit down, and asked if I was going to do so as well. I said no, because of bugs. (I seem to attract all types of bugs, and end up with a million bug bites. After going to two outdoor dramas this weekend, I didn't want to be closer to any of them that I had to.) He said well you can sit here, and patted his legs. I politely declined. In my head I couldn't believe he would actually think I am light enough to sit on his lap.
Yesterday, I was talking with a woman who used to be my co-worker. She asked if I was ready to stop with my weight loss. I said no, because I still have pockets of fat that I can grab. She said I have that (she is pretty small), and that most people have that. I realize this is true, but I really want to be at the lower end of my BMI range. I want to have some cushion in case I bounce back a few pounds a year or so from now.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Before the Breakthru....
As I have lost weight since having the DS, I've noticed that there always seems to be quite a bit of resistance from your body before a breakthru. Some examples for me were: getting below the 300 pound mark, 100 pounds lost, and you all remember my frustration with wanting to reach ONEderland!
I am at that place again. I am TWO pounds from a normal BMI. My body has been parked for a little over a week and a half here. This time I know that I will breakthru, I just have no clue WHEN I will do so. I know in the past eating more has helped me, so I could certainly try that.
I am off to go work in my classroom, then I will be going to the GED center this evening. I am so thrilled that school will be starting in just a few days!
I am at that place again. I am TWO pounds from a normal BMI. My body has been parked for a little over a week and a half here. This time I know that I will breakthru, I just have no clue WHEN I will do so. I know in the past eating more has helped me, so I could certainly try that.
I am off to go work in my classroom, then I will be going to the GED center this evening. I am so thrilled that school will be starting in just a few days!
Accomplished Another Goal
Last night Ben and I went on a hot air balloon ride. We went on one with just the pilot and the two of us. It was gorgeous! It was very romantic too.
Ben took my picture up in the air:
Ben took my picture up in the air:
This summer I was able to go skydiving, riding in a hot air balloon, and horseback riding. The only thing I didn't accomplish was white water rafting. There is still a few more weeks left that I could possibly do that, but I will certainly get it done next summer at the very latest.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I am a size what???
I had said at the beginning of the summer that I was going to try to focus less on what I actually weigh, and more on going down a size. Well, I wish I could say that I had focused less on my weight (I still obsess over the scale)! My goal was to be able to wear a size 10 pair of dress pants by August 12th (the first day of school).
I can wear a size 8 dress pants!!! Talk about doing a happy jig in the dressing room. It is so strange how your body always shrinks even when the scale isn't budging. I also bought TWO size small skirts!!! (They are the looser fitting type.)
I held up the pants, and could not believe that my entire body fit into them. I am still in awe of the fact that I am really not as big as I think in my head. Putting on these pants made it tangible.
I bought a pair of size 10 jeans, and they fit very nicely. (I have noticed that I will go down a size in dress pants before I go down a size in jeans.) I was asking the lady at the checkout counter if she felt these jeans ran true to size (since we have so much vanity sizing these days), and she said yes. She said, "I'm an eight." Then proceeds to hold the jeans up to her, and says they look very true to size. (I am also thinking in my head that there is no way I am just one size bigger than her. Why can't I see what is actually there?)
This is the first year of teaching that I will start out as a non-obese person. It thrills me.
I can wear a size 8 dress pants!!! Talk about doing a happy jig in the dressing room. It is so strange how your body always shrinks even when the scale isn't budging. I also bought TWO size small skirts!!! (They are the looser fitting type.)
I held up the pants, and could not believe that my entire body fit into them. I am still in awe of the fact that I am really not as big as I think in my head. Putting on these pants made it tangible.
I bought a pair of size 10 jeans, and they fit very nicely. (I have noticed that I will go down a size in dress pants before I go down a size in jeans.) I was asking the lady at the checkout counter if she felt these jeans ran true to size (since we have so much vanity sizing these days), and she said yes. She said, "I'm an eight." Then proceeds to hold the jeans up to her, and says they look very true to size. (I am also thinking in my head that there is no way I am just one size bigger than her. Why can't I see what is actually there?)
This is the first year of teaching that I will start out as a non-obese person. It thrills me.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
ZUMBA Class ROCKS!!!
I went to ZUMBA class, and I LOVED IT!!! I did Jazzercise many years ago, and really enjoyed it. This takes Jazzercise to a whole different level. It was really fun, and the time passed by super quickly. I am going to start taking the classes on Saturdays, and possibly some Sundays. Wooo Hooo!!!
Happy Saturday
I had a wonderful evening last night with Ben. We went to a cookout at a church member's house. Then we went to see The Wiz at an outdoor amphitheater. It was really good!
Afterwards we came back to my house to start discussing the book we started reading together, Love and Respect. We also started 101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged. I told him how hard it was for me to open up to people. I take a really long time to form deep friendships. For example, I worked at a school for five and a half years, and I had three really close friends. While I was nice to everyone, I would only tell personal things to those three people. He has commented that I make friends so easily in new settings. What I keep forgetting to tell him is that if you listen in on the conversation, 95% of it will be me asking questions about the other person's interests, etc. I only tell very general things about myself. This man is worth the investment of getting to know (and in turn me revealing personal things about myself), and I'm going to work on being more open about big questions.
Time to go to ZUMBA class. I can't wait to report back on how I like it. I really hope it lives up to the hype that I've heard about it.
Afterwards we came back to my house to start discussing the book we started reading together, Love and Respect. We also started 101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged. I told him how hard it was for me to open up to people. I take a really long time to form deep friendships. For example, I worked at a school for five and a half years, and I had three really close friends. While I was nice to everyone, I would only tell personal things to those three people. He has commented that I make friends so easily in new settings. What I keep forgetting to tell him is that if you listen in on the conversation, 95% of it will be me asking questions about the other person's interests, etc. I only tell very general things about myself. This man is worth the investment of getting to know (and in turn me revealing personal things about myself), and I'm going to work on being more open about big questions.
Time to go to ZUMBA class. I can't wait to report back on how I like it. I really hope it lives up to the hype that I've heard about it.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Dentist Update
I went to the dentist, and did not have to have a root canal. I am still not out of the woods yet. I have another tooth next week she is going to work on, and there is a possibility of a root canal on that one. Which brings me to the subject of crowns...I will be needing 3-4 of them. I am going to get one over Christmas break, one over Spring Break, one at the start of summer, etc. I was happy to find out that just because you need a crown does not mean you need a root canal. :) I thought they came together as a package. I could of course wait it out until I desperately need the crowns, but then that means I will have to have another summer of dental torture. Quite frankly, I am still recovering from the summer of 2006 dental torture.
My dentist and her assistant, Mary, were talking about how great I looked. I told them both that I wanted to lose another 15 pounds. The both said that I didn't need to lose anymore weight. I still have several places with good size pockets of fat. I think there is some shock value when people who have known me look at me. They see where I came from and think wow she looks great. While that is wonderful, I still want to get into the middle range of a healthy BMI.
I am stocking up on protein bars, etc at netrition.com. The school year is getting ready to start, and I want a lot of quick and easy products easily at my disposal.
My dentist and her assistant, Mary, were talking about how great I looked. I told them both that I wanted to lose another 15 pounds. The both said that I didn't need to lose anymore weight. I still have several places with good size pockets of fat. I think there is some shock value when people who have known me look at me. They see where I came from and think wow she looks great. While that is wonderful, I still want to get into the middle range of a healthy BMI.
I am stocking up on protein bars, etc at netrition.com. The school year is getting ready to start, and I want a lot of quick and easy products easily at my disposal.
Another Closet Purge
I have two more huge stacks of clothing for Goodwill. I still need to go sort through the t-shirts, etc that I have in my drawers, but wow these closet purges feel good. I still had a few clothes that were 22/24. This time it was weird getting rid of 16s, 14s, and even 12s. I even got rid of a lot of large skirts.
I know it will take work, but I am more confident than ever that I can maintain this weight loss for life. I need to stay diligent, but it can happen.
Off to the dentist. Oh happy days...
I know it will take work, but I am more confident than ever that I can maintain this weight loss for life. I need to stay diligent, but it can happen.
Off to the dentist. Oh happy days...
Dentist
Today I get to go in for an hour and twenty minute appointment to the dentist. OH JOY! The best part is she doesn't know how bad it is going to be until she gets in there, because she cannot tell for certain from the x-ray. I have a feeling this is going to be one of SEVERAL dentist appointments. On a much more positive note, Ben insisted on taking me to the dentist. :) He is such a sweetheart.
I forgot to mention one thing last weekend that sent me into a complete and utter panic. Ben was holding me, and went to lift me off my feet. My body immediately was trasported back into a 393 pound woman. I locked up all my muscles, and didn't let him. I want to be at a weight where a guy could pick me up, but I am by no means there yet. I wonder if in my mind I will ever be there.
Last night at the nursing home, Ben and I visited a lady in her fifties who was SSMO. It was so difficult for me, thinking that I could have been her. (Also thinking that at the rate I was headed, I could have been her in my forties.) My heart broke for her. She couldn't walk at all when she came in. Now she can walk extremely short distances. She cannot sleep flat, because of airway restriction. Seeing this made me even more determined to get these last few pounds off, and try to maintain a healthy weight.
Yesterday on three different occassions Ben mentioned that he could tell I was losing weight. He said I had a very slender waist. Never would I have expected to hear those words from a guy. WOW! Interestingly enough, while he has been saying all these sweet comments, the scale won't budge.
I forgot to mention one thing last weekend that sent me into a complete and utter panic. Ben was holding me, and went to lift me off my feet. My body immediately was trasported back into a 393 pound woman. I locked up all my muscles, and didn't let him. I want to be at a weight where a guy could pick me up, but I am by no means there yet. I wonder if in my mind I will ever be there.
Last night at the nursing home, Ben and I visited a lady in her fifties who was SSMO. It was so difficult for me, thinking that I could have been her. (Also thinking that at the rate I was headed, I could have been her in my forties.) My heart broke for her. She couldn't walk at all when she came in. Now she can walk extremely short distances. She cannot sleep flat, because of airway restriction. Seeing this made me even more determined to get these last few pounds off, and try to maintain a healthy weight.
Yesterday on three different occassions Ben mentioned that he could tell I was losing weight. He said I had a very slender waist. Never would I have expected to hear those words from a guy. WOW! Interestingly enough, while he has been saying all these sweet comments, the scale won't budge.
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